Nom or Vom: Yoo-hoo that burns

I’ve heard that red wine and chocolate compliment one another. I’ve heard of wines that have a chocolate note, and dessert wines. Chocovine has taken these things and applied the “if some is good, more is better” logic that has worked so well for purveyors of bacon and developed a chocolatey milky thick semi-wine-like substance. It’s chocolate milk, but for adults! It’s BoKu without Richard Lewis! It’s Yoo-hoo that burns! It’s the bacon of chocolate!

Pros: The color is the same as the chocolate river that Augustus Gloop nearly drowns in, and anything that brings to mind the idea of a naughty child in mortal peril brings a sparkle to my eye. Their website indicates that it is the “#1 selling chocolate wine in America” (incidentally, I have the number one comedy blog written by a Mellzah). If you were in the middle of a desert dying of thirst, this would probably stave that off for a little while, though the booze would dehydrate you a little further and might give you a wicked case of drymouth so, you know, weigh your options. The videos on the website are funny, in a “We’re trying much too hard to be hip” kind of way, especially with that jazzy sex and the city style music in the background.

Cons: Probably not classy to bring the equivalent of an adult milk box as a hostess gift. They really emphasize using this product in cocktails, which defeats the purpose of calling it wine: wine exists so you don’t have to think about stocking a billion different mixers before a party. Sweet booze is already a road to Headache City, and they want you to blend this already sweet booze into boozy sweet milkshakes? Better set up an appointment with the toilet, you’ll be getting to know it intimately after a few of those. Who has ever had a glass of chocolate milk and thought “You know what would make this better? Heartburn!”

Would you drink this?

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3 Comments Nom or Vom: Yoo-hoo that burns

  1. christopher575 December 6, 2011 at 9:45 pm

    Wah, I can’t vote in your polls any more! It just shows me the results.

    Anyway, I’ve had it and I say VOM VOM VOM even though I didn’t mind drinking a little. But I have no use for “just a little” booze.

    1. Mellzah December 6, 2011 at 11:35 pm

      Grr, I wish I knew why it was doing this to you! I’m going to see if there’s some other poll software I can use because this one is clearly not cutting it.

  2. Dianne December 6, 2011 at 11:38 pm

    I didn’t read the post yet, because the important thing was to immediately tell you that this stuff is delicious. I haven’t had any in a while, but I liked to put it in the fridge and have a couple glasses before bed. Yum.

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