Ho’n’Go Some Mo’

When I mocked press-on eyeshadow three years ago, I had no idea that it would stick around and that other companies would follow suit. I mean, really. Press-on zebra stripes? How many occasions does one have to wear such a thing? “Let’s see, today I have to go to the gym, the grocery store to pick up some asparagus, deposit this check at the bank…I’m thinking camouflage eyeshadow. Yeah, it’s definitely a camo kind of day. Let’s reserve leopard print for the office.”

But follow suit they have, as now with a little extra money and no sense whatsoever, you can purchase temporary lip tattoos.

Yes, you too can now let total strangers know that you shouldn’t be allowed to handle money, and from a distance, perhaps even project the appearance of late-stage oral disease. Or maybe even up close, as we all know how temporary tattoos flake and peel, and who DOESN’T want a potential lover to think of leprosy when looking at their lips? Oh, BABY.

But then again, since I have a history of being wrong about these sort of things, I’d like to present you with my brand new line of cheek tattoos, Cheeky Monkey:

Clownin’ Around

Love that Lurch!

MeeeYOW, Baby

Chillin With My Tribe

Dolla Dolla Bill, Y’all

The Beast Within

I’m Dating a Sparkly Vampire

Only fifteen bucks for a three-pack, and I’ll throw in a photo of a kitten wearing a hat for free. Place your orders now!

5 Comments Ho’n’Go Some Mo’

  1. Jason July 22, 2011 at 5:40 pm

    Let us go on a night life safari to observe the lip’cheetah in the wild 🙂

    1. Mellzah July 23, 2011 at 7:11 am

      Aww, cute! For stuff like that, these totally work.

  2. Sharon July 23, 2011 at 5:41 pm

    OMG I was at this party a couple weeks ago and there was this girl that had black spots all over her lips. At first I thought it was a lipstick “effect” she had painted on with eyeliner or something but then later her lipstick was gone but the black spots were still there. I didn’t ask her about it because I figured it was a disease or something. Now I know and I never would have known had it not been for you and now I owe you my first born. He’s 16 and a pain in the ass. When should I drop him off?

    1. Mellzah July 23, 2011 at 6:53 pm

      In a couple of years, when he’s 18 so I don’t have to be responsible for him. Unless he can make cupcakes like you, and then I may be open to a deal.

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