Crib Notes

weaselmom recently posted a link to Design Sponge as she was pondering her personal aesthetic and how it relates to her new home, which she can decorate however she desires.

I have a total boner for spaces that are not only open and welcoming but that also reflect a person’s tastes and style. Where everything is just so, where individual pieces stand on their own but are part of a flowing whole where everything fits.

I know some people whose homes, to me, are perfect examples of this. Everything about them feels exactly right. Cole mentioned the other day about all the work he did angle-grinding Shannon’s bathtub to give it the appearance of fish scales, and something in my brain shivered happily, because the idea of that, for Shannon, feels perfect. This extends to personal style as well–adorning oneself via clothing or accessories; there are a few people I know who have very clear tastes which gives them an impeccable sense of style–Tara is one of those people. Everything she picks out, everything she makes, everything she surrounds herself with, seems to fit just so, to mesh immutably with her style. When she posts a piece that she’s done, everything about it says “TARA!”. Put her work in a lineup with other artists and I’d be able to recognize hers immediately.

There aren’t enough descriptive words in this expressive language to explain my utter jealousy of people with bold, distinctive style, because I want it for myself so very badly. I want to walk into my apartment and have everything just so. I want the way I dress to reflect who I am. Everything I do and wear feels so generic and lacking. Part of this stuff purge is to get rid of all of the things in my life that I don’t need, to be sure, and that part is going like gangbusters, but I also want to get rid of all of the things that are not me.

The problem is, I don’t quite know who I am. It would be all too easy to blame my mom for this–to a large extent, she dressed me until I was sixteen and couldn’t take it anymore/was earning an income and could pick out my own things, and then I just mainly picked out things that I knew would piss her off. My room was baby blue and light pink and pastel purple, bordered in stenciled butterflies with a ruffled bedspread and curtains, because that’s the way she wanted it. While other kids my age had hand-me-down cheap furniture that they were allowed to sticker up or paint or otherwise make fit them, I was polishing a cherry wood dresser and nightstand. The furniture I had as a little kid was more adult than the stuff I have now!

So, I’m at a loss. I’m finally getting to a point in my life where I can afford to pick out things that fit me…but I don’t know what those things are. My tastes are mishmash and I can’t begin to imagine a scenario where tin robots fit in with asian-influence furniture and a taxidermied bear that’s wearing an outfit (Ok, I don’t actually HAVE a bear…yet.) and a great big print of The Dream of the Fisherman’s Wife. Clothes pose another distinct challenge–there just aren’t many cool, unique things for girls shaped like me. Even if there were stylish clothes that actually fit me, I spend half my work week climbing filthy warehouse shelves like a monkey which doesn’t lend itself to dressing well. How do I go about refining the things I have into the things that are right for me, the things that ARE me? If I don’t know who I am, will everything I do now just seem like a watered-down version of someone else’s distinctive style?

What’s YOUR design aesthetic? How have you decided what’s ‘you’ and what’s not?

63 Comments Crib Notes

  1. whobyfire78 January 29, 2010 at 8:03 pm

    I’d love to be able to share my design aesthetic with you, but I’m much in the same boat you are. I’m pretty damn generic. I hate that about myself, but sadly I don’t see it changing any time in the near future.

    1. admin January 29, 2010 at 8:19 pm

      I guess part of my process will involve doing a lot of thinking on why I like the things I do and what possibly COULD connect them, whether it’s texture or a color palette, etc.

      I also imagine this process is easier when you own rather than when you rent–you can be reasonably assured when you own that the couch that you love and had recovered in the perfect fabric won’t all of a sudden be too large or too small for a room in a couple of years.

  2. scearley January 29, 2010 at 8:25 pm

    Design aesthetic? “What’s on sale?”

    1. admin January 29, 2010 at 8:27 pm

      For a while, mine was ‘Whatever had been abandoned next to the dumpster in my apartment complex’.

      1. scearley January 29, 2010 at 8:29 pm

        With the exception of two folding chairs, a TV stand, and a bookshelf, ALL of my furniture is of the “Things my cousins didn’t want to have to move” variety.

      2. madamecacoon January 29, 2010 at 10:02 pm

        Hey! That’s mine right now! Luckily I live in yuppie Kirkland so that means I actually have some really nice stuff I pulled out of dumpsters. I’m framing all the things I put on the walls, and most of the frames got pulled out of a dumpster.

        1. admin January 29, 2010 at 10:09 pm

          Yeah, I got some good stuff in Redmond. There’s no way I’d pull that act in Renton.

  3. madamecacoon January 29, 2010 at 8:33 pm

    What’s YOUR design aesthetic?

    A bunch of crap in a pile. Mostly old mail and yarn.

    I like too much conflicting stuff to really have a good aesthetic. I’m trying with this new place, but it’s not going perfectly. I’m at least doing a good job with the black and pink theme in the bedroom, but the living room is still a mess of ugly 70’s furniture and storage boxes.

    1. admin January 29, 2010 at 8:38 pm

      A bunch of crap in a pile pretty well describes what’s going on in my place these past few weeks…

      1. madamecacoon January 29, 2010 at 10:00 pm

        Years, for me. I’ve stopped fighting it. The piles are inevitable.

        1. admin January 29, 2010 at 10:08 pm

          I’d like to think that if I got rid of enough stuff and trained myself well enough, putting things away instead of starting piles would become a habit.

          1. scearley January 29, 2010 at 10:36 pm

            That’s what I think every time I wander through the set-up rooms at IKEA.

          2. admin January 29, 2010 at 10:44 pm

            I carried home a stupid amount of organizing boxes from IKEA on Monday, and when I get home from work tonight, I’m organizing my closets in the hopes that I can make it look like an IKEA inside them. That’s the dream, anyway: a labeled place for everything. Just the idea of it makes me swoon a little.

          3. madamecacoon January 29, 2010 at 11:50 pm

            I have a bunch of those organizing boxes, and I just ended up putting things in them that would get broken if I left them in piles.

          4. admin January 30, 2010 at 12:01 am

            I pretty well shit my pants with glee when I saw these, which I’m going to use to store things like sweaters which take an assload of room to hang and I only wear three months out of the year.

          5. madamecacoon January 30, 2010 at 12:28 am

            Those are pretty sweet. I should get something like that, although with working in windowless, air-conditioned rooms, I have to wear sweaters year round, so it’s useful to have them where I can reach all the time.

          6. madamecacoon January 29, 2010 at 11:07 pm

            The only way I could ever stop making piles of things is if I got rid of everything with a horizontal surface. Unfortunately, I’ve got a number of those built into my home in the form of these things called “floors.”

          7. admin January 29, 2010 at 11:13 pm

            Clearly they need to be replaced with trampolines.

          8. madamecacoon January 29, 2010 at 11:49 pm

            My cats would LOVE that.

            I want to replace my floors with sand and ponds, but I think I’ll have to wait until I’m not renting anymore.

          9. admin January 29, 2010 at 11:56 pm

            I think Napoleon would hate it until he realized he could utilize it to bounce up near the ceiling and rain Death From AboveTM on people.

  4. entropic_system January 29, 2010 at 8:39 pm

    Wait – you don’t think you have a bold, distinctive style? Really?

    Hrm.

    As for mine? Dunno, but I’m pretty sure I have one. Well, okay – not “bold” or “distinctive,” but….huh.

    1. admin January 29, 2010 at 8:44 pm

      Nah, I feel pretty generic. Jeans and a sweater do not a distinctive style make.

      1. entropic_system January 29, 2010 at 10:12 pm

        Assuming that clothes are all that go into a style? Perhaps. I think you underestimate your impact.

        1. admin January 29, 2010 at 10:46 pm

          Wellll, I do also have a loud mouth, broken glasses, and an affinity for deep-fried hotdogs.

          1. entropic_system January 29, 2010 at 11:57 pm

            There you go. and you can do funny walks on the Hill like nobody’s business.

            Oh! And commando roll over cars parked across crosswalks.

          2. admin January 30, 2010 at 12:02 am

            Life should really present me with that sort of justified opportunity more often.

  5. kindofstrange January 29, 2010 at 8:56 pm

    Hah, I’m flattered that you think so!

    As far as how someone finds there style… not really sure. I know that for me a lot of it is just being patient and finding the things that *feel* right to me.

    Most of the costumes and stuff have evolved over the years, as I find that little thing that’d improve it. If I just rushed out and found something that would sort of work, it wouldn’t be the same for me. I’d also get irritated at it over time and eventually get rid of it, so it tends to be at least more cost effective to just wait it out.

    1. kindofstrange January 29, 2010 at 8:58 pm

      Also, your mom controlling your sense of style really irks me, though the thought of you living in a butterfly stencilled room is kind of hilarious.

      1. admin January 29, 2010 at 9:10 pm

        Putting up with the pastels and the butterflies and the lace and the ruffles was really a driving factor behind Melissa: The Half-Ass Goth Years because I was trying so hard to disassociate myself from the girl who lived in that room. But half-ass goth isn’t me, either. Neither is whole-ass goth.

        1. kindofstrange January 29, 2010 at 9:21 pm

          I want to pioneer ‘left pinkie goth’.

          1. admin January 29, 2010 at 9:23 pm

            I think that would involve a really ostentatious blackened metal finger armor piece.

  6. yimmy149 January 29, 2010 at 9:10 pm

    Maybe subscribe to some blogs/magazines related to fashion/interior design/whatever so that you get ideas of what you like or don’t.

    1. admin January 29, 2010 at 9:13 pm

      The problem there is I ALWAYS love what works for someone else. So one day I’ll be coveting retro style and the next super mod minimalist style and the next crazy over the top loaded with toys fun style.

      1. kindofstrange January 29, 2010 at 9:22 pm

        Nothing says you can’t have them all! My condo is a bizarre mix of dead things, old worn pieces and sleak modern. My office is where most of the crazy toys live.

        1. admin January 29, 2010 at 9:41 pm

          Maaaybe. The stuff I like doesn’t seem to flow together very well.

          1. kindofstrange January 29, 2010 at 10:09 pm

            Different styles for different rooms! 😀

          2. admin January 29, 2010 at 10:12 pm

            The way my place is laid out, I essentially have two rooms for decorating (dining room/living room are blended in my place with a separate bedroom) and two functional rooms that won’t stand much decoration–kitchen and bathroom. I’m leaning toward something funky & modern in the living room/dining room and maybe more glam/cozy in the bedroom. Of course, how I feel about it tomorrow could be completely different!

          3. winik January 29, 2010 at 10:16 pm

            sounds good!

        2. winik January 29, 2010 at 10:15 pm

          yup this.. I have lots of various interests and now that I have a place to separate them appropiately I believe there’s a different feel to each room.. but sleak, modern and cozy and form follows function is the basic. And a whole bunch of wackiness/not there yet in the hobby room.

          1. winik January 29, 2010 at 10:22 pm

            Also I collect stuff over the years and purge as I get better stuff.. or hide it away until it’ll work in the space I have.. I do go by the place/layout directs what’ll work and not work.. and the old find something you really like and build a room around it.

            That bathtub sounds just… incredible and totally suiting..

          2. winik January 29, 2010 at 10:29 pm

            As for personal style.. hrm.. I’ve known folks that focused mostly on their outward appearance clothing wise and their places didn’t express them well and folks that have the amazing homes and generic clothing.. both is an art unto itself.. I know what i like and most people I know can tell what I’d like but as for a direct style.. hrm.

          3. admin January 29, 2010 at 10:36 pm

            Ultimately, I’d like to have good personal style AND a good-looking home. It’s like just recently I woke up and realized that I could be whoever I wanted to be…and all of the choice is overwhelming.

  7. feckalyn January 29, 2010 at 10:54 pm

    Have none. Don’t care either.

    I buy things that catch my eye and integrate them into what I’ve already got. Tends to work out rather well.

    1. admin January 29, 2010 at 11:21 pm

      Hey, whatever works, right? Not everybody can get jazzed about the same things or we’d live in a pretty boring world. 🙂

  8. nanci_raygun January 30, 2010 at 2:21 am

    It is really easy to get overwhelmed.

    Pick one thing; a color pallete, a texture, a theme, and go with it. For you it might be easier to pick a color pallete.

    A stuffed bear in a red vest
    A red chrome robot
    An ocean japanese landscape with red blossoms

    Bang

    All of it goes because its the same color.

    My style is classic line and modern line. All old vintage style works with strong modern pieces because the lines are the same. Lots of bold accepts and inviting soft colors.

    Will show you when I move!

    1. admin January 30, 2010 at 2:29 am

      Awesome, I can’t wait to see pics! 🙂 I remember when you posted pics of the furniture you were painting and looooving it.

      1. nanci_raygun January 30, 2010 at 2:35 am

        I think exploring your personality will help you decide on your exterior expression. Settling in to an idea of yourself and flowing with it and expressing that positive side.

        I work with photography a lot, so working with memory/old/vintage/warm and people is what I’m going with.

        I’m a little scared to see how it all goes together but I’m hoping it will be alright. Haha

        1. admin February 1, 2010 at 6:10 pm

          I think it will be awesome. 🙂

  9. cordelia_rose January 30, 2010 at 3:42 am

    I’m a design blog WHORE. Since my job is mostly telling students “you can’t talk to X” and answering phones I have a lot of free time at work. I read design sponge and apartment therapy daily, and lots of other stuff as well.

    I think most people who have style that seems so Them and so Effortless actually spend a lot of time deciding what the want. Not what they ARE, but what they want. You can always repaint, reupholster, or redecorate later.

    What works for me is mood boards – And by boards I mean folders of pictures on my computer – because once I’ve saved 10 to 15 pictures that really I’m really inspired by(read envy) I start to see patterns emerge. Usually these reflect things I already own or at least covet.

    Now if I just had the time, energy, and money to decorate and maintain my house… ahh, I can dream.

    1. admin February 1, 2010 at 6:15 pm

      But isn’t what you want an extension of who you are? I mean, it’s not necessarily creating a set-in-stone identity to which you are bound for eternity but it seems like what you want and who you are should live in harmony.

      1. cordelia_rose February 2, 2010 at 8:45 pm

        Most certainly. But it doesn’t have to be an expression of every part of my identity. *shrugs* I just want my home to be beautiful(to my eyes) and functional, and above all to make me happy. Anything more specific than that comes down to stylistic choices. I guess.

        I’m honestly not sure what I’m even trying to say anymore. I’ve confused even myself with my artsy mumbo jumbo 😛

  10. assassinpandora January 30, 2010 at 3:51 am

    Interesting. Seems to me that you have a very solid idea of what you like, I’ve never been to your place but you make me think of Enid’s room from the movie Ghost World. She liked all sorts of eclectic weirdness, yet it seemed to go together. Probably because of a common color palate, as previously mentioned. I also dug the way all her clothes were thrift store weird, wildly different from each other, but altered to fit her perfectly.

    1. admin February 1, 2010 at 6:29 pm

      Interestingly enough, you are not the first person to compare me to Enid. I should probably watch this movie sometime!

  11. cheeserock January 29, 2010 at 8:17 pm

    i try to make my home reflect me, the home i *want* is so bursting with visual stimuli and stuff to do and colour and whatnot, but what i have is a dingy half assed of what i would do if i owned where i lived. there is only so much effort i will go into decorating/”remodeling” a place i only rent.

    sigh.

    1. admin January 29, 2010 at 8:26 pm

      But what you do own reflects what you would want to do if you owned your space?

      1. cheeserock January 29, 2010 at 9:55 pm

        mostly. like, my furniture is almost all found stuff or hand me downs, excpet an old diner table and 2 metal carts and a wooden kitchen island i bought, and i’m too lazy to make awesome slipcovers for the ugly couches, but i have art everywhere and christmas lights and the way i try to organize, i am thoughtful about it and put things in a way i like to look at them, like i installed this metal industrial pipe thing in the kitchen to hang my pots on. but if i owned, i would have a lot more permanant inbedded in the wall things, creative shelving and whatnot. and i painted some of the walls, just not all, cos of the whole effort vs not-owning…that’s what it comes down to. my place would be uber-customized if i weren’t renting. i mean, it’s very much “me”, it’s just abbreviated. my bedroom is the lamest room, but it’s literally a room the size of my bed and since the whole place is mine, i don’t really care if anything is in there. BUT, if i owned, the walls would be drawn on and the ceiling would be covered in fake flowers and christmas lights. it could be now, but, eh. again, the effort. this is the 2nd longest i’ve lived in the same home [2 1/2 years], i am not quite used to not hauling house every 12 months, but i’ve rooted here more than i had the last few places. i guess, i lived in a place once that i thought i would be in longer than i was, so i nested like crazy and i had all sorts of awesome vintage furniture, and i used to collect old typewriters and electronic equipment and build shrines – but move enough and a. you stop wanting to haul crap around and b. you tired of creating this awesome space you immediately have to dismantle and relocate. maybe i’m not the right person to ask, i am a packrat and have always collected things of interest to me, but in waves depending on how much stuff i wanted to lug around.

        1. admin January 29, 2010 at 10:14 pm

          I’ve thought about doing christmas lights all across my ceiling. I love the way they sparkle and twinkle and want it year round, not jut for a couple of weeks restricted to a twelve-inch tree.

  12. cheeserock January 29, 2010 at 8:19 pm

    also, i just like to surround myself with things that make me happy to look at. i get my cues from homes i have been in that have made me feel like i was in the best womb ever, and then go from there. pun intended.

  13. faerieburst January 30, 2010 at 4:59 am

    What’s my design aesthetic?

    Ol’ Curiosity Shoppe

    I love stuff. And I love things. And I REALLY love stuff and things. And shoes. And clothes. And Disney snowglobes. And books. MAN I love books. Basically, I want people to come to my place 50 times (if I actually let people into my place, different story), and each time say, “Hey, I never saw *that* before.”

    My decorating style is dominated first by the furniture. I need a LOT of bookshelves. And I need a lot of shoe racks and boot racks. And I need several dressers. All of those were painted black because they aren’t the point, what is on them is the point. Same with my chairs, dining room table, bed frame, coffee table, etarege, computer desk, and couch cushion covers (when I get off my lazy ass and sew them. I HAVE the freakin’ fabric, I just haven’t done them.) Black hides many, many flaws, goes with every other colour you decide to accent with, and did I mention hides flaws. As a renter, I’ve never been able to paint, which means white walls…black pops off white walls and the stuff I put on the black furniture pops off the black. IT’S A POPPING EXTRAVAGANZA!

    If you get a basic colour palette of colours that make you feel happy, incorporating them throughout the apartment goes a long way to creating a feeling of unity. For example, my palette is black, white, silver, dark purple and dark green. So, black, green and purple towels in the bathroom, black bathmat set, purple shower curtain, black towels in the kitchen, purple pillows on the couch, green throw rug, purple duvet cover on the bed, green or purple sheets, black curtains on my bed, purple curtains on the windows, silver knobs and drawer pulls on all the furniture…small things that repeat the same colours in all the rooms, even if they aren’t in your face dominate, give the feeling of unity and cohesion.

    I have lots and lots of shelves with curios, knick-knacks, collectibles, etc. on them. They don’t have any unifying style or theme, other than “they make me smile.” And I think that should really be the key when you are looking at what to keep and what to bring in: Does the object make you happy? If not, why bother with it?

    ~Aramada

    1. admin February 1, 2010 at 6:18 pm

      IT’S A POPPING EXTRAVAGANZA!‘ made me laugh which I completely needed. 🙂

      Your plcae sounds like a magical wonderland of stuff. I could spend HOURS and HOURS in ye olde curiosity shoppe and frankly your place sounds even better.

  14. xaotica January 31, 2010 at 4:58 am

    although i’m a total slob, i’m also really into design and over the years have subscribed to a bunch of different interior design magazines, read design blogs etc… by far my favorite interiors are the ones which combine a lot of seemingly disparate stuff. i find it amusing that you say you don’t have a style and then go on to describe really interesting unique things =P sounds to me like what you’re saying is that you don’t have a *pigeonholed* style, which to me is the very definition of having style. anybody can go into urban outfitters and “dress hipster”… having a mishmash of a bunch of different stuff is what makes you a person vs. a stereotype.

    there’s actually a lot of design magazines that feature really bizarre combinations of things… they aren’t all minimalist ikea/’modern’ style (not that i dislike that either)

    1. admin February 1, 2010 at 6:27 pm

      I suppose it’s just that the disparate things I like don’t seem to ‘go’ together the way the disparate things that other people like go together, but it could be something as simple as a color palette tying everything together that I just haven’t really noted. I should go back and look at the things I like more closely and figure out why I like them. 🙂

  15. poetrix618 February 3, 2010 at 7:43 am

    Your ecclectic style means you are a wonderful, multi-faceted, intelligent person who is funny and wry and kick-ass cool.

    I know what you mean about finding a personal aesthetic… but sometimes you can get jailed by that aesthetic.

    I think surrounding yourself with things that you absolutely love, no question, can reveal your personal style better than any “mold” could.

    I’m also interested in clearing out the junk and surrounding myself with things I absolutely love that are both useful and pleasing to me. Keep me posted!

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