Best Worst Movies

On Friday, a group of us went to see Best Worst Movie at the Central Cinema, which may well become my new favorite theater because their upcoming events list looks amazing AND they serve beer. Coming soon: the Michael Jackson sing-along, Choose Your Own Adventure VHS, and a showing of The Room (the Citizen Kane of bad movies) WITH Tommy Wiseau in attendance.

I may well decide it’s worth my $60 if I can get Tommy Wiseau to record my new voicemail message: “YOU’RE TEARING ME APART, MELISSA!” The desire to have this little bit of amazing for my very own, forever, must be weighed against the realities of giving Tommy Wiseau sixty dollars, well-knowing that he could use that money to make another movie. It’s a toss-up at this point.

Just a little bit of my desire has been sated with this, a talking Tommy Wiseau bobblehead. He speaks several phrases, including “I did naaaaaat!”, “Oh hi, Denny!”, “You know what they say: Love is blind.”, “I’m fed up with this world!”, and, again, my personal favorite, “YOU’RE TEARING ME APART, LISA!”.


Best Worst Movie was a very enjoyable documentary, not only focusing on the surprising second life of Troll 2 as a cult classic, but revisiting each of the actors (many of whom have not acted in anything else since), and the director, who cannot believe that anyone dares to call his artful masterpiece a bad movie. One of the actors, extremely likeable George Hardy, has given up acting to become a dentist, though he talked wistfully about how he wishes he could have done more, acting-wise. One of the actors has receded into madness. One of the actors was mad prior to and during filming, which explains a lot about his scenes in the movie. Another hit a genuinely sad note when he talked about how he’d frittered away his life, “but that’s what a life is for, right? Frittering away.” Even the majority of our group, who hadn’t seen Troll 2, found it entertaining and worth watching. They weren’t able to stay virgins for much longer, however, as immediately after the documentary, we were given a bonus showing of Troll 2, so no one was able to sleep peacefully that night.

During the movie, Brendan leaned over and asked a passing waitress if he could have another beer. I asked if I could have another as well, and she replied “Are you from Wisconsin?” I was confused. What had I said that was a regionalism? “Kenosha, Wisconsin?” she continued. “I’m Sonja S____.” “HOLY SHIT.” It was a girl with whom I went to high school! Halfway across the country! And she recognized my face/voice at a whisper in a dark theater! What are the odds?

25 Comments Best Worst Movies

    1. admin June 21, 2010 at 10:24 pm

      Why have I not seen that movie?!

      1. entropic_system June 21, 2010 at 10:25 pm

        Because you’re a kid and it came out LONG before your time.

        ….when dinosaurs roamed the earth….

        1. admin June 21, 2010 at 11:01 pm

          Yeaaaaah I’m not *that* young. I was prime family-movie watching age when this one came out.

          1. residentclinton June 24, 2010 at 7:58 pm

            Hey, this is Clinton from Central Cinema. Guess what? We’re playing MAC & ME on September 13th as part of our Bad Movie Art series. It is a genius of a film!

          2. admin June 24, 2010 at 8:55 pm

            Hey Clinton! I am marking it on my calendar right now.
            Just out of curiosity, how did you stumble across this LJ post? And what are the odds of me getting Tommy Wiseau to record my new voicemail message of “YOU’RE TEARING ME APART, MELISSA!”?

          3. residentclinton June 30, 2010 at 7:12 pm

            You popped up in my Central Cinema google alert! As for Tommy doing your voice message – who can say for sure. Won’t hurt to ask him. Though I’ll bet he would want you to pay him for it. He’s very savvy that way!

    2. pezking124 June 22, 2010 at 4:18 pm

      Remember at the end of that movie with they threatened with the promise of a sequel?


      1. entropic_system June 22, 2010 at 4:23 pm

        Oh, yes – this movie was inexplicably one my friend’s favorites, so she’d always want to watch it when I was growing up.

        That phenominal threat is actually mentioned at the end of this review.

        1. admin June 22, 2010 at 4:26 pm

          It makes sense when you think about it. Mac & Me & New Coke

  1. doctoreon June 21, 2010 at 11:08 pm

    I can’t remember if it was Troll 2 or 3, but my theater professor was in one of those.

    1. admin June 21, 2010 at 11:23 pm

      I’ve never seen Troll 3. That’s awesome about your theater professor, though! *edit* I’m guessing it’s probably Troll 2, since Troll 3 was filmed in Italy.

      1. doctoreon June 21, 2010 at 11:26 pm

        That’s pretty much the only thing I remember about that class. I would check under his name, but I forgot that, too.

        1. admin June 22, 2010 at 3:25 am

          ahahah that would make it difficult!

          1. doctoreon June 22, 2010 at 6:25 pm

            At least I got an A, right? 😉

  2. faerieburst June 22, 2010 at 12:18 am

    “What are the odds?”

    With the amazingness of your universe? I’d say they are pretty damn good.


    1. admin June 22, 2010 at 3:27 am

      What are the odds that an incredibly attractive man will show up on my doorstep and present me with inheritance from a distant royal relation?


  3. travelbothroads June 22, 2010 at 5:53 am

    I had no idea you were going to Best Worst Movie, I was debating going myself, but I had no one to go with and since it’s literally 4 blocks from my house I could’ve walked there.

    Next week they are showing Team America: World Police.

    1. admin June 22, 2010 at 7:52 am

      Sorry, I tried to broadcast it as widely as possible–I posted about it here & on fb. 🙁

  4. pezking124 June 22, 2010 at 4:19 pm

    Apparently I need to check out The Room. Someone had mentioned it somewhere else on the internets and I was just reading about it the other day.

    1. admin June 22, 2010 at 4:28 pm

      Get the Rifftrax version, it’s much more bearable.

      1. pezking124 June 22, 2010 at 4:28 pm

        Rifftrax makes everything better.

        1. admin June 22, 2010 at 4:34 pm

          Better, yes, but there is a limit to their powers: Titanic still felt like a grim death march.

  5. jumpinjessflash June 23, 2010 at 5:46 am

    My next door neighbor here in Austin is the same neighbor I had in Cincinnati, and we’re not even friends.

    1. admin June 23, 2010 at 5:48 am

      Holy shit, the odds of that have to be astronomical!

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