An Open Letter to Skechers

This is the fax that I actually sent to Skechers Customer Service today. Any bets on whether I get a pair of replacement shoes?

To whom it may concern,

I purchased a pair of D’lite Raptures (Style#11469) on December 19th, 2009. They quickly became my daily-wear shoe, as I find them light and comfortable, which is important as I average five miles of walking per day. However, within the last week, one of the shoes has developed an enormous hole on the upper stitching along a seam, a hole so gargantuan that it can easily accommodate two fingers, though three are as of yet right out. I know what you must be thinking, that surely my monstrous gorilla feet caused undue pressure on the sides of the shoe and thus the seam had no choice but to burst open—a five pound sack of shoe with ten pounds of foot crammed into it, a veritable thunder lizard foot packed into an airy shoe, and that the outcome was as inevitable as taxes and even death, should science fail and robot bodies not become readily available by the time the cheese eventually settles into my heart. I assure you this is not the case. My feet have been described as dainty, petite, and even smelling of a spring morn. Sonnets may have been composed about my feet; I’m unsure as I’m not around other people twenty-four hours a day and it is possible that someone has dedicated a portion of their off time thoughtfully considering my feet and their place in the universe. I do know that someone on Myspace has offered me one hundred dollars American in the hopes of having a ‘go’ at my feet, and although my disgust at the offer is palpable as I would never defile my delicate tootsies in that manner, I do believe it speaks volumes about their general appeal. My feet would be the superstars of the foot world if only they weren’t hopelessly attached to an unattractive cankle. Therefore, the trouble must indeed lie with the shoe.

Is it reasonable for a shoe to wear out in under three months? Are these shoes perhaps designed for someone with a more sedentary lifestyle, as foot accessories, akin to a tiny dog in a purse (It is my understanding that those, too, wear out during walking)?

If you should read this letter and feel compassion for my wonderful feet attached to the unattractive cankle attached to the bloated calf attached to the dimpled knee (the picture only gets worse as you look higher, like staring at a hideous burning sun) and want to replace their beloved D’lite Raptures, they wear a size 5.5 and would be ever so grateful.

Thank you most sincerely for your time,


Mellzah Dildarian (address here)

I also included a picture of the damaged shoe and the attractive, sad foot, as demonstrated by a sadface drawn in MS paint and the word ‘NOOOOOOO!’ circling its head. *I* would give me a new pair of shoes. Maybe even twelve pair.



Update: It has been four years and still no response. I haven’t given up waiting, though. Surely those shoes are coming any day now.

49 Comments An Open Letter to Skechers

    1. admin March 18, 2010 at 8:53 pm

      Only if we can both wear fabulous dresses.

      1. jessidear84 March 18, 2010 at 10:15 pm

        It legal in some places now! Now if only the republicans could be right, and the down-slide of civilization would then allow bigamy, I would also propose matrimony. =D

        1. admin March 18, 2010 at 10:25 pm

          We’ll be one big happy coven of bitches! 😀

  1. madamecacoon March 18, 2010 at 8:42 pm

    Do you want to trade feet? Mine come with Bikers Ego Boost #21374 in black on them, although they are two sizes bigger than yours and damn ugly. I’ve had the shoes for a year and they are not worn out, although I will admit that despite them being my everyday shoe, I probably walk 5 miles over the course of three weeks if I’m feeling frisky.

    1. admin March 18, 2010 at 8:55 pm

      Hmm. But if I were to have foot surgery, I would have no need for shoes for some time. I will have to consider it.

      1. madamecacoon March 18, 2010 at 8:58 pm

        I’ll take your calves too. We can switch legs below the knee. I have skinny stick calves that makes wearing knee-high boots look ridiculously stupid, but I do not have cankles.

        1. admin March 18, 2010 at 9:01 pm

          You might not want to be so quick to take the calves, mine are of such considerable size that finding knee-high boots to fit them requires a lot of shopping and tears.

          1. madamecacoon March 18, 2010 at 9:05 pm

            They make knee-high boots in lace-up. As it is right now, I have a pair that are laced the tightest they go, I have to wrap the extra laces around my calf twice, and just barely don’t need to do a double bow–AND they’re still loose.

            Besides, I’d like to get back at my body for the whole boob thing it’s pulling.

          2. admin March 18, 2010 at 9:08 pm

            When there’s a strip of flesh between the boot tongue and the side of the boot on either side, it’s SO not an attractive look.

          3. madamecacoon March 18, 2010 at 9:14 pm

            Easily fixed with upholstery leather.

          4. admin March 18, 2010 at 9:20 pm

            They’re all yours, then. I want the boobs.

          5. madamecacoon March 18, 2010 at 9:22 pm

            Are you sure you understand what you’re asking for? These things are EVIL.

          6. admin March 18, 2010 at 9:25 pm

            The grass is alllways greener, however, I feel like I could handle the bigger rack and finally have the golden boob/waist/hip ratio I’ve always wanted.

  2. scearley March 18, 2010 at 8:56 pm

    This sentence

    However, within the last week, one of the shoes has developed an enormous hole on the upper stitching along a seam, a hole so gargantuan that it can easily accommodate two fingers, though three are as of yet right out.

    confuses me. Particularly the “three are as of yet right out” clause.

    1. admin March 18, 2010 at 8:59 pm

      It is kind of an inside joke about diddling with some friends and probably had no place on a complaint letter, but the fact remains that I could fingerbang the hole in the shoe with two fingers.

      1. variax March 18, 2010 at 9:15 pm

        “Two fingers” is a perfectly good inside joke. “Three fingers”, not so much.

        1. admin March 18, 2010 at 9:19 pm

          The joke is that three fingers are too many, so it works on a few levels, I think.

  3. pretzelcoatl March 18, 2010 at 9:27 pm

    Welp, there goes them off my list of shoes. Which is significant just because I still can’t find anything for my wide-ass feet.

    1. admin March 18, 2010 at 9:34 pm

      Sad. 🙁 The internet will likely give you the widest (rimshot) selection, but it’s problematic because you can’t try anything on to make sure it fits and feels right and you could spend a redonkulous amount on shipping back and forth.

      1. strand March 26, 2010 at 6:21 pm

        Zappos doesn’t charge for return shipping.

        1. admin March 30, 2010 at 4:17 pm

          Good to know, thank you!

  4. katura March 18, 2010 at 9:39 pm

    I gave up on Chucks because of this exact same thing. They fall apart so quickly, getting giant holes in several places. Plus I think they kinda destroyed my feet because they offer no support whatsoever.

    1. admin March 18, 2010 at 9:45 pm

      I get that I’m probably harder on my shoes than the average consumer but I’d like to hope they’d last longer than three months. I used to buy a new pair a year, and I’d be ok with buying a new pair every six months, but not every three.

      1. katura March 18, 2010 at 9:51 pm

        Yeah, it’s totally unacceptable. I’m the same way – I stick to one pair of sneakers and I walk a lot. The last time I bought a pair of Chucks was only because they were Pink Floyd-themed. The rubber came unglued (yeah, they glue everything now instead of stitching it) within a DAY. I exchanged them, and the same thing happened shortly after to the second pair. The sad thing is Chucks would last for YEARS back before they were owned by Nike and manufactured in sweatshops.

        1. admin March 18, 2010 at 10:06 pm

          Uuuuuugh. I would happily pay more for a product that lasts than get something that falls apart after a few months, ends up in a landfill, AND supports sweatshop labor.

          1. katura March 18, 2010 at 10:08 pm

            Chucks aren’t even cheap here. They range from $80-$100 usually. It’s ridiculous. I shelled out more than that for a pair of Adidas which are still in fine condition a year later. It seems nearly impossible to find shoes that aren’t sweatshop produced these days 🙁

          2. admin March 18, 2010 at 10:13 pm

            The pair before the Skechers were some DCs that I bought in spring last year, I wore the heeeeell out of them and they made it ~8 months. I should probably look into Adidas, the ones I look at all seem to be in the $50-$80 range so I might as well shoot for a brand that has some staying power for my dollar.

          3. katura March 18, 2010 at 10:17 pm

            Yeah, I can recommend them. This is the style I have. I’d prefer them not to be suede, but it’s rare that I see a shoe design I can actually envision myself wearing, so I got them anyway.

          4. admin March 18, 2010 at 10:24 pm

            Oooh, I like those!

          5. starladear13 March 19, 2010 at 8:22 pm

            I think I used to have those, not purple, and yes they lasted a very long time.

          6. winik March 18, 2010 at 11:48 pm

            agreed.. I need to find me some comfortable everyday shoes that aren’t probably made in a sweatshop..

    2. winik March 18, 2010 at 11:44 pm

      I hear ya on the Chucks.. I used to buy them regularly and had to stop when they were falling apart too quicky after they switched manufacturing offshore.. gah. I just bought a pair of the boots because I couldn’t resist.. but I’m sure they won’t last long either. (or will only because I won’t wear them very often)

  5. helloautumn March 18, 2010 at 11:07 pm

    i approve of this letter. if i was to work for sketchers and i saw this letter, i’d send you some shoes. for reals.

    1. admin March 18, 2010 at 11:30 pm

      I like to think it’s a little different from the style of letter they normally receive and that might give me the edge in getting some new shoes. 😀

  6. winik March 18, 2010 at 11:10 pm

    Wow that’s too bad.. I’ve been wearing Sketchers for a few years now (bought a pair at a discount shoe store and lived in them for a year or more before replacing them finally) I didn’t mean to live in them but they were so comfortable 😉 :p Anyways.. keep us posted if you get a free pair.

    1. admin March 18, 2010 at 11:30 pm

      If they give me a free pair, it will only encourage this lifestyle of rampant complaining. I will start sending consumer letters EVERYWHERE.

      1. winik March 18, 2010 at 11:39 pm

        lol, I can see that happening.. at least the complaints are amusing..

        1. admin March 18, 2010 at 11:46 pm

          “Dear Ben and Jerrys,
          As I sit here, bloated, cramping, and weeping a little from one eye (the other is focused on writing this letter), I find it my sad duty to inform you that I finished a pint of your product and yet found myself still empty inside. Not enough caramel pumped into my face, perhaps. There’s only one way to find out. If you would like to hook a hose of caramel directly to my face, like a feedbag on Mr. Ed, please get back to me in precisely four weeks’ time and I will happily accommodate the impending caramel river.

          Mellzah Dildarian”

  7. assassinpandora March 19, 2010 at 2:04 am

    I love this. If I worked there, I would DEFINITELY send you shoes.

    1. admin March 19, 2010 at 5:17 pm

      I will keep my fingers crossed that someone like you picks up the letter. 😀

    1. admin March 19, 2010 at 5:15 pm

      Those look awesome. 🙂

  8. Anonymous March 19, 2010 at 4:28 pm

    I’ve always thought of Sketchers as fashion sneakers, so wouldn’t really rely on them for hard use. With that much walking, you might consider looking into a good pair of athletic sneakers, and carry some nice shoes to change into at work. That being said, they still shouldn’t have worn out like that and hope they give you a new pair. Great letter! ~Shannon

    1. admin March 19, 2010 at 5:16 pm

      You’re probably right, but it seems like a sneaker company shouldn’t advertise walking shoes if they’re really sneakers for sitting. 🙁

  9. nicolemarieh March 20, 2010 at 3:52 am

    i have read a few times that for both the health of your feet as well as increasing the life of your shoes, that you should avoid wearing the same pair of shoes two days in a row. they need time to air out and the leather needs time to settle back, like how you are supposed to skip a day in between wearing the same bra, so the elastic doesnt stretch out.

    so, you know, since we all have money to buy two pairs of shoes at the same time to alternate between, that is what you should do in the future. 😉 (but seriously, i know ive read articles by podiatrists saying this.) i think that walking shoes should last 6-12 months, but if they are the main pair you are walking in every day, then im not that surprised they wore out after a few months. i definitely think they should replace them though, because 3 months still sucks.

    then with your free replacement you should buy another pair and alternate. I JUST CHANGED YOUR LIFE.

    1. admin March 22, 2010 at 5:33 pm

      Here comes Nicole, changing lives on the internet in three paragraphs or less!

      You’re right, I should be switching between at least two pair. I think the problem is that I generally have one really comfortable pair and one or two pair that are less comfortable and I’ll always grab the awesome pair over those that are less awesome. Hopefully this pair gets replaced and then I can purchase a second pair that are equally comfortable and get into a healthier habit for my feet. 🙂

      1. nicolemarieh March 22, 2010 at 8:15 pm

        i do the exact same thing. i have to force myself to not wear this one particular pair of shoes *every* day. but i like them so much!! haha. 🙂

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