Date Archives July 2015

Spotted on the Roadside: The Church of God-Zillah

church of god zillah

jesus saves

zillah and shadow

In the town of Zilla, WA, is a glorious pun come to life…or half-life anyway. It all started as a joke, with the reverend of the then Christian Worship Center being called the leader of the Church of God-Zillah, and being a B-movie fan, he decided to embrace it and build a fire and brimstone-breathing lure to get people to come to church. Not being one to be too prideful of his creation, however, it’s tucked behind the church instead of out front–if you didn’t go looking for it, you would have no idea it’s there. It’s my understanding that they originally intended to skin it and outfit it with motion detectors so its eyes would light up as cars passed by, but given that it was constructed almost fifteen years ago and no progress has been made on that front, the saddest little ‘zilla in Zillah languishes naked before god and everyone. All I know is if a dino with glowing red eyes showed up on my doorstep and asked if I had moment to talk about our lord and savior, I wouldn’t shut the door in his face.

Spotted on Cheyne Rd in Zillah, WA

City of Roses: Portland’s International Rose Test Garden

ombre roses

peppermint roses

pink edged roses

pink roses

pointed petals

arches

portland international rose test garden

purple spike flowers

red and fuschia roses

red roses

smelling the roses

soft light yellow roses

sorbet roses

vibrant yellow center

white edged roses

white pink red gradiant rose

gorgeous hydrangeas

a tip of the hat statue

a jaunty bronze hat

In 1905, Portland held a Lewis and Clark Exposition for the 100th anniversary of the duo’s stay in Oregon. For that grand event, the city planted half a million pink rosebushes along Portland’s streets. Two years later, in 1907, the “city of roses” held its first annual Rose Festival, a tradition which is alive and well today (as are many of the original rosebushes!).

Portland has long had a reputation for being where the weird comes to flourish, and it even holds true for their rose gardens. In 1917, rose enthusiasts came up with the idea of creating an American rose test garden, and not long after that, the International Rose Test Garden came to be. Portland also served as a “safe haven” for hybridized roses from Europe during World War I. Owing to their mild climate, roses absolutely thrive in Portland, and the International Rose Test Garden is a way for the worldwide rose enthusiast community to try different varietals for disease resistance, fragrance, and color as well as other desirable attributes.

From May through October, you can see and smell nearly 550 varietals of roses in the test garden, though they are at their heady, glorious peak in June (which coincides with Portland’s Rose Festival). And definitely take the time to stop and smell them all! They blew me away with their vibrancy, their color, their scent, and the way they aren’t just woody, thorny, shitty sticks like the roses I’ve tried to grow in my yard. Or the $50 hydrangea I planted this year that committed plant suicide a week later. Portland, lend me some of your flower-growing voodoo!

Save

What’s the point of having a Hyundai if you can’t show it off a little?

“You know, I used to think a car was just a way of getting from point A to point B, and on weekends, point C, but that was the old me. That man died the moment I laid eyes on the 1979 Honda Accord.”

hyundai

This is something that’s been in the works for a while. The Ford Taurus Assault Wagon had long ago gone to that big rubik’s cube of crushed cars in the sky, and while we’d been making do with one car, it was far from ideal, especially since the other car is approaching legal drinking age and has decided that a number of its functions are now optional, like air conditioning and the radio. Not really ideal on summer road trips, especially through desert areas, or really even on cross-town trips now that Seattle is getting the population of a major city without the supporting infrastructure. Sure, we get to advance the fields of scientific study involving human sweat, but sometimes the cost of science is just too high.

We’d done some test driving and tire kicking, and I had my heart fairly well set on the Hyundai Veloster since I first test drove it way back in August 2012. It’s a hatchback that doesn’t look too “sandals with socks” hatchback-y, it gets killer gas mileage, and it still has a functional backseat (unlike the also-ran Honda CR-Z). The only problem? I’m so damn cheap. The thought of buying a brand new car and having it lose significant value the second I drove it off the lot galled me deeply. But I also felt like one of the best selling points for Hyundais was their extended warranty, so buying a depreciated used one didn’t seem like a great value, either. Thus began my search for a “sorta used” Veloster. I believe I typed the word “Veloster” into Craigslist every week between August 2013 and June 2015, and most often, I turned up cars that were a year or two old with extraordinarily high mileage (we’re talking 80-100k miles) and not much cheaper than a brand new model would have been. I didn’t want to pay nearly full price for a car someone else had beaten to shit over a twelve month period and was now out of warranty, so I kept searching. I found a couple others that had low mileage and a relatively low price but had a salvage title–hell no.  Eventually, I found my white whale–a Veloster that was less than two years old (which qualified it for a better financing rate), with only 5,000 miles and was selling for significantly under blue book value. I was so suspicious of the seller, figuring that it had to be a scam. I ran carfax: clean. I called the title department: clean. I checked the guy’s driver’s license against the title: match. It was the situation that everyone hopes for when buying a used car–it was senior owned, and they rarely drove it because they spent most of the year out of state. SCORE.

 veloster front

veloster

There are still a few things the car needs to be perfect (for me), like a phone mount so I can better use it as a GPS–right now, the cubby under the control panel is too big, and the cupholder places it too far back for glancing at the screen without taking my eyes off the road which is a huge no-no. I think I’ll also end up getting a couple of blind spot mirrors for extra visibility and safety’s sake because the blind spots in this car are sizable. But I’ve already made my first non-essential mod, a screensaver with the new name of the car, the Velosteraptor:

velosteraptor

If only I could figure out how to get it to make a raptor sound instead of the startup music, then I’d really be in business! It didn’t really feel like it was mine until I outfitted it with the best keychain ever, though:

keys

It’s been a total dream to drive, the interior is really roomy and the seats are comfortable even on long stretches. I’ve already put on a couple thousand miles on it, and I hope it serves me well for many, many, many more thousands.