What the hell, dairy industry? We’re only supposed to get thirty sweet noggy days in December, and spend the rest of the year atoning for our eggnog overindulgences. But now there’s an eggnog or an unusual flavored milk for nearly every season! I’m still waiting for the limited edition Patriot Nog in July with a mix-in packet of pop rocks so you can drink fireworks. Or rose-flavored Mother’s Day nog. Year round birthday cake nog!
Peeps have never been on the top of my Easter candy consumption list, and this seems to be true for a lot of other people as well given the proliferation of things around the internet people have done to avoid eating them. Now their very essence has been drained, their tiny Peep-y souls sucked out and blended with milk for your pleasure. You monster.
But wait, there’s more–one of them is pastel yellow, the most appetizing of all milk colors next to green milk (Let’s be real though, all non brown or white milk colors are kind of nauseating)! Is that the nog? Or the marshmallow, as a homage to classic Peeps yellow? Either way, you’re in for a, uh…treat.
Pros: We’re getting older, time is going by faster, why not use strange milks to mark the seasons? You could probably make fancy starbucks style drinks for pennies on the dollar if only you can look your checkout person in the eye when buying Peeps milk (but that’s what robo registers are for!). These are absolutely loaded with sugar so soon you’ll be hyped up with Peeps Brand Energy!
Cons: The inevitable comedown from your Peeps Brand Energy high and chasing that limited edition Peeps Brand Dragon which means eventual Peeps Brand Rehab, yellow milk, if it’s anything like an actual Peep it will manage to be stale, chewy, and grainy (mmmmm!), eventual burnout on festive nogs, isn’t it getting a little too warm out for nog anyway?