Let’s everyone give a warm welcome to Samantha Stinky!

This morning, bleary-eyed and filthy, I climbed into the shower, and attempted to pull out the knob to start the flow of water. It wouldn’t pull. I applied more pressure. It wouldn’t pull. I then dug in both heels and pulled backward as hard as I could with both hands, and it finally yanked on–but it now spins ineffectually from hot to cold, with only freezing cold water issuing forth from the spout.

Yes. I managed to break my bathtub.

I didn’t have it in me to take a freezing shower today, so I washed my hair as best as I could in my sink, washcloth-washed the rest, and as a result, am only marginally less filthy.

I then called the office and begged, begged them to come and fix it today, for the good of mankind, or at least for the good of the noses of mankind directly surrounding me. However, this also meant that a stranger would be entering my apartment today, which I had not planned on, and would need to do some tasks to keep them from getting the wrong impression of me and calling the police, namely removing the ‘blood’ soaked sheet from the bathroom and hiding it and also burying the ‘learn your fuckin science with the insane clown posse’ booklet under a stack of papers.

The day can only improve from here, right?

6 Comments Let’s everyone give a warm welcome to Samantha Stinky!

  1. amazoni April 14, 2010 at 6:08 pm

    One can only hope it improves!

  2. yimmy149 April 14, 2010 at 6:45 pm

    But where will they lock up your attack dog for the rest of the day if they actually have to work in the bathroom?

    1. admin April 14, 2010 at 6:50 pm

      I think that’s WHY the vicious attack dog ended up in the bathroom last time–so they wouldn’t have to do the work order in the bathroom. I imagine that if I needed something done in the bedroom, I’d come home to the work not being done and the dog shut in there. This time, I’ve taken the precaution of locking the attack dog in his cage so I don’t have to worry about taking another sink-bath.

  3. cordelia_rose April 14, 2010 at 8:34 pm

    My tub broke too, two days ago!
    My house is plumbing cursed. Kitchen sink, washing machine(don’t even get me started on that one) and now bathtub. This is AFTER they had to fix the bathtub and replace the incoming water line before I would even buy the place.

    And of course, having a plumber come in would cost 400 dollars, so we get to do it ourselves. Fuck plumbing.

    I hope you can have real showers again soon. sink baths are TEH SUCK.

    1. admin April 14, 2010 at 9:42 pm

      Ugh, I hope you’re past the worst of it soon, you’ve been having a ridiculous amount of house problems!

  4. poetrix618 April 20, 2010 at 1:23 am

    The ‘blood’ soaked sheet. Congratulations! The quotations are used correctly.

    But, this still reminds me of the restaurant in Long Beach. Thank god they didn’t have ‘blood’ on the menu.

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