Is this the express bus back to Hyrule?

The week drew to a close with a very special event: a rare ‘Link’ sighting. Also known as ‘Elf Boy’ and (to the less videogame inclined, or shall we say ignorant) ‘Peter Pan,’ Link is a heavyset young man who is often seen between Capitol Hill and lower Queen Anne, always wearing a dark green tunic, a brown WWF-sized leather belt, huge custom-made tan leather boots, and little green cap. Link was last seen on the #7 Metro bus with his older gentleman friend, who spent the entire ride ranting and raving about poor people needing to get jobs. Armed with his shield, and handful of Nerds, as a finale, Link pulled from his backpack what appeared to be a firearm at first but was actually a collapsible metal shovel, unfolded it, and began to wave it around, scaring the living Christ out of fellow passengers. Despite occasional spookiness, Link is still regarded as a sign of good luck, like a rainbow or a UFO: He can often be spotted waiting for a bus on Denny Way, and he’s also frequently found at a local coffee shop, playing chess in full regalia. Keep your eyes peeled.

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46 Comments Is this the express bus back to Hyrule?

  1. scrapyard March 17, 2006 at 5:39 pm

    I feel like Opus in that Bloom County comic where he finds fat Elvis eating donuts and working road construction, having faked his death to laze about.

    1. admin March 17, 2006 at 6:04 pm

      I am sorry to shatter your dreams of the unf unf unf with Link, Ali.

  2. v1c1ous March 17, 2006 at 7:06 pm

    I HAVE to meet this man. Link is the next costume I’m probably going to pull off and it would be awesome if I could learn where he got his boots.

    1. admin March 17, 2006 at 9:32 pm

      Anyone who has met him would not describe him as ‘talkative’ or ‘sane’. Supposedly, a few years ago Link and what’s assumed to be his dad would beat up gays in Capitol Hill because the dad said that they had stolen the triforce from them and made it dirty (read: upside down pink triangle).
      You’re better off ebaying the boots.

      (edit: I R GUD SPEELUR)

  3. storm_dancer March 17, 2006 at 7:06 pm

    Memo: get some bulletproof jackets as part of this plan

    I would pay someone serious money to mess with this guy by dressing up as other characters from the series and challenge him to duels on trains. Or Zelda could walk by making out with Mario. The possibilities are truly endless.

    1. scrapyard March 17, 2006 at 7:30 pm

      Re: Memo: get some bulletproof jackets as part of this plan

      … HOW ARE YOU SO AWESOME?
      I think we should schedule a trip and do this. I totally volunteer myself as Samus.

      1. admin March 17, 2006 at 7:36 pm

        Re: Memo: get some bulletproof jackets as part of this plan

        I’ve got plenty of extra room in my apartment for you guys to stay. 😀

        Good times, I’m thinking I want to be a goomba.

      2. shadowstitch March 17, 2006 at 7:56 pm

        Re: Memo: get some bulletproof jackets as part of this plan

        Wanted: One Open-Minded Femme for Vacuumforming Fun!

      3. storm_dancer March 18, 2006 at 7:10 pm

        Re: Memo: get some bulletproof jackets as part of this plan

        SNARKY COMEDY IS SADLY THE ONLY THING I’M GOOD AT.

        Oui. I agree. We can make dress up as Zelda, with his golden curls, he’d be perfect.

        1. admin March 20, 2006 at 4:08 pm

          Re: Memo: get some bulletproof jackets as part of this plan

          :swoon:

    2. shadowstitch March 17, 2006 at 7:58 pm

      Re: Memo: get some bulletproof jackets as part of this plan

      This is such an awesome idea.
      Suffice to say, I was entertaining the same notion when I read your reply.

      “Dude I wanna dress up as Ganon, and just be sitting there reading the paper, eating a bagel…and then OUR EYES MEET and I just stop chewing and narrow my eyes…”

      WE ARE SCARY.

      1. admin March 17, 2006 at 9:30 pm

        Re: Memo: get some bulletproof jackets as part of this plan

        I can totally picture this happening. And it would be AMAZING.

      2. v1c1ous March 17, 2006 at 9:35 pm

        This plan is awesome.

        Only, what happens next?

        1. shadowstitch March 17, 2006 at 10:10 pm

          Turn to page 184 to find out!

      3. scrapyard March 17, 2006 at 10:57 pm

        Re: Memo: get some bulletproof jackets as part of this plan

        …. YOU COULD MAKE A SPECIAL PAPER.
        It could have EVIL ARTICLES. By like, Maleficent.

      4. storm_dancer March 18, 2006 at 7:12 pm

        Re: Memo: get some bulletproof jackets as part of this plan

        The stop chewing/eye narrowing image has had me laughing for hours.

        Too bad you’re dressing up as Princess Zelda.

      5. issendai March 20, 2006 at 10:11 pm

        Re: Memo: get some bulletproof jackets as part of this plan

        That is fantastic. I will trade you photos of it happening for a set of made-to-order Internet babies.

        1. admin March 20, 2006 at 11:24 pm

          Re: Memo: get some bulletproof jackets as part of this plan

          Are these real babies or just people on the internet who act like babies?

          1. issendai March 20, 2006 at 11:29 pm

            Re: Memo: get some bulletproof jackets as part of this plan

            Depends on which you prefer. If you choose option B, I can offer you a wide range of net nuts and freaks (your choice of level and flavor of delusion). If you choose option A, let me know quick, the production line takes some time to get started.

          2. admin March 20, 2006 at 11:34 pm

            Re: Memo: get some bulletproof jackets as part of this plan

            If I choose B, are they going to be easily controllable, or are they going to start beating me, trashing my apartment & covering it with glitter, and demanding I buy them steak?

          3. issendai March 21, 2006 at 12:51 am

            Re: Memo: get some bulletproof jackets as part of this plan

            Depends. Do you want that particular nut’s LJs? I can set you up with her if you like. Otherwise, I’ve got a money-grubbing drama whore, a guy with a plan to colonize the sea, a quasi-academic who can turn from lurker to fascist pedant in a second, a couple of serial ranters (your pick of fantasy author or Iraq veteran), and an undermedicated psychotic who’s up on attempted rape charges. All of them are likely to trash your apartment, but only the drama whore brings glitter.

          4. admin March 21, 2006 at 4:12 pm

            Re: Memo: get some bulletproof jackets as part of this plan

            I’ll take the guy with the plan to colonize the sea, so long as he’s housebroken and doesn’t mind making his plans from inside a cage.

          5. issendai March 21, 2006 at 4:28 pm

            Re: Memo: get some bulletproof jackets as part of this plan

            Excellent! Have . These days he hates terrorists, socialists, Muslims, and Democrats. And he’s wildly attractive to women! He has the distinction of being so annoying that the Portal of Evil itself banned him.

            Link pix plz?

          6. admin March 21, 2006 at 4:48 pm

            Re: Memo: get some bulletproof jackets as part of this plan

            You’ll be the first to know when the great Link/Ganon battle goes down. First, all of these people need to make their way up from Tennessee.

          7. admin March 21, 2006 at 5:56 pm

            Re: Memo: get some bulletproof jackets as part of this plan

            HEY NOW. You didn’t mention that he also thinks he’s a combination of The Crow and an Elf. 😐

          8. issendai March 21, 2006 at 6:35 pm

            Re: Memo: get some bulletproof jackets as part of this plan

            Do what? I missed that. There was a bit where he proved that he was superior to all the rest of us plebes because he got a 5.99% credit card offer in the mail, but that’s been friendslocked.

          9. admin March 22, 2006 at 12:11 am

            Re: Memo: get some bulletproof jackets as part of this plan

            I was able to gather all that information just by looking at his userpic.

            How DO you find these people, btw?

          10. issendai March 22, 2006 at 1:41 pm

            Re: Memo: get some bulletproof jackets as part of this plan

            Fandom_Wank and the Portal of Evil. Don’t read the Portal, just take their suggestions for where to find the crazy. Once upon a time, I could find people like these by looking around the edges of my RL circle of friends, but those days are mostly gone and I must resort to technology for my fix of WTF.

            Thank GOD.

  4. mewelke March 17, 2006 at 9:27 pm

    It’s things like this that have me considering a move to the west side. Yes the commute would blow orangutangs, but it is never dull in Seattle.

    1. admin March 17, 2006 at 9:33 pm

      I’m lucky enough (?) that I work far enough south (where 5 & 405 meet) that the commute would be the same from Seattle as it is from Redmond. I’m considering making the jump across the lake when my lease is up.

      1. mewelke March 17, 2006 at 9:43 pm

        When I first moved up here I could’ve stood any commute. When I worked at Blizzard I had a forty five minute drive each way…at best. Two years of walking into work though have really spoiled me. Of course I’m moving out of walking distance no matter what. Hmmm. Redmond and sanity (but boredom) or Seattle and fun (but liver and lack of sleep hurty).

        1. admin March 17, 2006 at 9:50 pm

          Pft. You’ll have to let me know when you’re back in town again so we can give our livers a good kick.

          1. mewelke March 17, 2006 at 9:56 pm

            Will do. In theory I’m all over the next weekend. Let me know if you’re through the OT heinousness.

          2. admin March 17, 2006 at 10:22 pm

            Should be, though there’s always a chance for it. Regardless, I’m sure I can free up at least ONE WEEKEND DAY (saturday?) for some drinking.

          3. mewelke March 17, 2006 at 10:30 pm

            Saturday sounds good to me.

          4. admin March 17, 2006 at 11:01 pm

            Want to do Fado or the Owl & Thistle? Noonish?

          5. mewelke March 18, 2006 at 6:21 pm

            Sounds good. Fado has the better food. Starting there might be the better idea.

      2. gehn March 17, 2006 at 10:14 pm

        Please be making for THE CAPITOL HILL kthx.

        1. admin March 17, 2006 at 10:18 pm

          I’ll do my best, mmmkay?

        2. admin March 17, 2006 at 10:25 pm

          Also, please to be letting me know if you run across any awesome apartments, because I don’t think craigslist lists ALL of them.

          1. gehn March 17, 2006 at 10:32 pm

            I will being on THE LOOK OUT.

            I often find the good ones only put out signs on the door. That’s how i found my place.

          2. admin March 17, 2006 at 10:47 pm

            That’s what I figured, and I’m not in CH often enough to see those signs. 🙂 I’m looking to move at the end of May when my lease is up.

  5. foxhunt006 March 18, 2006 at 2:28 am

    I need to get val that costume.

    1. admin March 20, 2006 at 4:11 pm

      Val as Link FTW.
      I stopped by All The Best on Saturday & they told me that you were on vacation; dammit! Nice store, though! 🙂

  6. robcutforth March 20, 2006 at 2:37 pm

    Is it wrong that I totally didn’t get the Zelda reference until I read other people’s comments?!

    *ashamed*

    1. admin March 20, 2006 at 4:12 pm

      YOU’RE FIRED.

Comments are closed.