I fixed all of the Napoleon-killed stuffed animals we had in the house today, sneaking them downstairs underneath my shirt (dogs are so stupid, he didn’t suspect a thing until I accidentally squeaked my new massive third breast) and gave them all to him at once.

He is the happiest dog in the world right now–he can’t decide which one to play with so he’ll run off with one only to come back to jealously guard the pile as if it might disappear at any moment and then select a new favorite.