I don’t understand all of those weird ads with stuff like dancing pandas and charging bulls and banana-eating monkeys on them that have NOTHING TO DO with the ad itself. It’s like they pull a slip of a paper from a hat, and whatever random crap is printed on the paper, that’s what goes in the ad. I have made this one more appropriate.
Now, off to the island of misfit mascots with you!
Did you know that when one little panda pulls on another little panda’s underwear, that’s sexual harassment? That makes me a saaaad panda. And when one little panda puts his furry little willy in another panda’s ear, that makes me a very sad panda. Now, I’m going to pass out these booklets, and we’re going to go through each and every sexual harassment law.
Goddamn it, Skeeter! How come every time a panda bear come in here, you gotta go flappin’ your jaw?