If you’re going to spew, man, spew into this.

I had a lot of difficulty prying myself out from under the blankets this morning. I figured it was that I was tired from the extremely busy weekend I’d had and that I’d snap awake soon enough. Several cups of tea and a big cup of coffee later, my body was warm and awake, but my eyes still felt tired. Almost…itchy.

Oh goddamnit, I realized, I’m getting sick. Probably because I’ve had my face mere inches from MANY other faces this weekend which is not typically the case for me, and no amount of hand sanitizer is going to protect me from germs breathed directly into my face.

I did what has become first instinct in this situation: whine to facebook. A friend suggested I immediately start taking “Wellness Formula”, a mysterious vitamin supplement which requires you to take six capsules every three hours, which seems a bit excessive as each capsule is approximately the size of my dog. I took a break from work and went to Super Supplements to pick up a supply of this so-called wellness formula, because one, this girl would not steer me wrong, and two, if I’m going to take anything to stave off illness, sooner is better than later.

The first six capsules made me feel rather nauseated as I took them on a nearly empty stomach, so when it came time for the next six (about 45 minutes ago), I took them directly after a meal in the hopes of warding off more ill feelings. This was a mistake. These pills are now sitting directly on top of my dinner at the uppermost portion of my stomach, and they are making me burp every few minutes. They are making me burp the taste of evil. What does evil taste like, you ask? Evil is a potent mixture of rancid garlic, ginger, and goat’s breath. Every time I burp, I shudder, swear, and want to throw up. So much for staving off illness.

38 Comments If you’re going to spew, man, spew into this.

  1. starladear13 October 19, 2010 at 2:51 am

    Since you don’t plan on having kids, you will probably never enjoy the taste of prenatal vitamins, which taste like fish oil. YUM! Hope you feel better.

    1. admin October 19, 2010 at 2:54 am

      I used to take fish oil supplements when I was on some healthy kick…I don’t know WHY I settled on fish oil, but I could not deal with the fish burps and threw them away. Even when I froze the capsules, they would STILL have me burping fish all day.

    2. admin October 19, 2010 at 2:54 am

      I used to take fish oil supplements when I was on some healthy kick…I don’t know WHY I settled on fish oil, but I could not deal with the fish burps and threw them away. Even when I froze the capsules, they would STILL have me burping fish all day.

  2. starladear13 October 19, 2010 at 2:51 am

    Since you don’t plan on having kids, you will probably never enjoy the taste of prenatal vitamins, which taste like fish oil. YUM! Hope you feel better.

  3. earthdotprime October 19, 2010 at 3:05 am

    It’s your solemn duty, as a haunt employee, to haul your sick ass to work and infect as many people as possible. Haunt plague. It’s a time honored tradition.

    1. admin October 19, 2010 at 3:07 am

      While I would normally embrace that suggestion wholeheartedly, I am realllllly trying to not be sick as I feel that all of the people I’m cooking food for this Saturday would appreciate not getting the plague.

      1. earthdotprime October 19, 2010 at 3:24 am

        I suppose you can invest in a plague-mask for food preparation purposes only, if you truly care so much about your friends. 😉

        (srsly, haunt plague is the pits. soup and vitamin c and dayquil.)

        1. admin October 19, 2010 at 3:29 am

          I didn’t know haunt plague was a thing, surely they would have warned u–oh wait. That, too, would require organization.

          I am pounding these gross vitamins, taking zinc supplements, and even though I have SO much to do this week, I have taken some nyquil and will shortly be off to bed to try and wipe it out via sleep. Maybe I will have pho for lunch tomorrow for additional cold-fighting power.

          1. earthdotprime October 19, 2010 at 3:37 am

            pho is pretty much magic.

          2. admin October 19, 2010 at 3:42 am

            I only wish there was a than bros near my office because a post-pho cream puff is an additional immune-system boost.

          3. admin October 19, 2010 at 3:42 am

            I only wish there was a than bros near my office because a post-pho cream puff is an additional immune-system boost.

          4. earthdotprime October 19, 2010 at 3:37 am

            pho is pretty much magic.

          5. earthdotprime October 19, 2010 at 3:37 am

            also, yes, totally a thing. Were we internet friends when the prison gave me Mono? ‘Cause that SUCKED.

          6. admin October 19, 2010 at 3:40 am

            I believe I friended you as MonoGate was happening!

          7. admin October 19, 2010 at 3:40 am

            I believe I friended you as MonoGate was happening!

          8. earthdotprime October 19, 2010 at 3:37 am

            also, yes, totally a thing. Were we internet friends when the prison gave me Mono? ‘Cause that SUCKED.

        2. admin October 19, 2010 at 3:29 am

          I didn’t know haunt plague was a thing, surely they would have warned u–oh wait. That, too, would require organization.

          I am pounding these gross vitamins, taking zinc supplements, and even though I have SO much to do this week, I have taken some nyquil and will shortly be off to bed to try and wipe it out via sleep. Maybe I will have pho for lunch tomorrow for additional cold-fighting power.

      2. earthdotprime October 19, 2010 at 3:24 am

        I suppose you can invest in a plague-mask for food preparation purposes only, if you truly care so much about your friends. 😉

        (srsly, haunt plague is the pits. soup and vitamin c and dayquil.)

    2. admin October 19, 2010 at 3:07 am

      While I would normally embrace that suggestion wholeheartedly, I am realllllly trying to not be sick as I feel that all of the people I’m cooking food for this Saturday would appreciate not getting the plague.

  4. earthdotprime October 19, 2010 at 3:05 am

    It’s your solemn duty, as a haunt employee, to haul your sick ass to work and infect as many people as possible. Haunt plague. It’s a time honored tradition.

  5. katura October 19, 2010 at 9:18 am

    That dosage sounds pretty ridiculous. I like taking a Vitamin C/garlic/zinc mix when I feel like I’m getting sick, but it’s a fairly normal sized pill that you just take a few times a day. Is it at least working?

    1. admin October 19, 2010 at 2:21 pm

      Actually, it is working. I ended up taking twelve pills yesterday plus three zinc lozenges plus a dose of nyquil and put myself to bed at 8:30…and I feel pretty good this morning. I’m going to keep taking it all today though, to make sure it’s zapped.

    2. admin October 19, 2010 at 2:21 pm

      Actually, it is working. I ended up taking twelve pills yesterday plus three zinc lozenges plus a dose of nyquil and put myself to bed at 8:30…and I feel pretty good this morning. I’m going to keep taking it all today though, to make sure it’s zapped.

  6. katura October 19, 2010 at 9:18 am

    That dosage sounds pretty ridiculous. I like taking a Vitamin C/garlic/zinc mix when I feel like I’m getting sick, but it’s a fairly normal sized pill that you just take a few times a day. Is it at least working?

  7. wildcelticrose October 19, 2010 at 2:51 am

    maybe the germs will flee the stench?

    1. admin October 19, 2010 at 2:54 am

      Maybe. I think my eyelids are trying to flee the stench as I do feel perkier.

    2. admin October 19, 2010 at 2:54 am

      Maybe. I think my eyelids are trying to flee the stench as I do feel perkier.

  8. wildcelticrose October 19, 2010 at 2:51 am

    maybe the germs will flee the stench?

  9. crunk_caitlin October 19, 2010 at 3:57 am

  10. crunk_caitlin October 19, 2010 at 3:57 am

  11. 1_rhiannon_1 October 19, 2010 at 3:17 pm

    Oh dear *tries so hard not to laugh* Honestly, I was cracking up when you said the pills are the size of your dog.

    1. admin October 19, 2010 at 4:30 pm

      They are MONSTERS. Swallowing each one is like deep-throating a burrito.

    2. admin October 19, 2010 at 4:30 pm

      They are MONSTERS. Swallowing each one is like deep-throating a burrito.

    3. popfiend October 19, 2010 at 6:58 pm

      Pretty much the same here.

      Oh, and the stench is designed to fend off the germs…like mustard gas in WWI. 😉

      1. admin October 19, 2010 at 8:51 pm

        Oh lord, I just burped it up into my nose and the best way to describe it is olfactory torture.

      2. admin October 19, 2010 at 8:51 pm

        Oh lord, I just burped it up into my nose and the best way to describe it is olfactory torture.

    4. popfiend October 19, 2010 at 6:58 pm

      Pretty much the same here.

      Oh, and the stench is designed to fend off the germs…like mustard gas in WWI. 😉

  12. 1_rhiannon_1 October 19, 2010 at 3:17 pm

    Oh dear *tries so hard not to laugh* Honestly, I was cracking up when you said the pills are the size of your dog.

Comments are closed.