I believe in Harvey Dent

A couple of weeks ago, I picked up Batman R.I.P #678, even though I should know better than to start something in the middle of an arc by now. I read it, but absolutely nothing made sense; it was like somewhere along the way DC decided to parody itself and published the Cracked! magazine version of Batman. Equally nonsensical was this ad in the middle:

Oh yes, that will come in handy when I go to the dealer’s lot and buy myself a goddamned Batmobile. Why am I even considering test driving any other vehicle when Batmobiles are now available to the general public? Why wasn’t I informed that we could all buy Batmobiles? WHO DROPPED THE DAMN BALL ON THIS ONE?

None of this dampens my enthusiasm for The Dark Knight, which I *will* see in an IMAX theater just as soon as I can get tickets for a decent hour. I’d set up Fandango to send me an email when opening night Dark Knight IMAX tickets were available, and Fandango failed me. Subsequently, they can go shove their handpuppets into the darkest area of their bodies. If they film it and put it on youtube, they might win me back.

Still. BATMAN. BATMAN! BATMAN.

They should really be releasing this movie in porno theaters so I don’t have to worry about going to prison when I touch myself in public.

DundundundundundundundundundundundundundundundunBATMAN!

24 Comments I believe in Harvey Dent

  1. agentdanak July 18, 2008 at 8:17 pm

    should have told me you wanted to know when imax tix were available. i can find that kind of shit out for you, being a pacsci member. and a fricking fbi agent (haha).

    1. admin July 18, 2008 at 8:28 pm

      Awww damn it! We should plan a shindig for the X-files movie release, btw.

      1. agentdanak July 18, 2008 at 8:32 pm

        OOOOO!

        it’s next freaking week, but let’s see what we can do. i may not go friday, but I MUST SEE.

        1. admin July 18, 2008 at 8:38 pm

          I was thinking we could run through a cornfield and then go to the theater. 😀

          1. agentdanak July 19, 2008 at 1:26 am

            are there any good cornfields around here?!

            i wonder if we could procure some black helicopters. i know a good pilot.

            and have you heard that yer supposed to shout something at the end of the movie? i know the code.

            so i was planning on seeing it in seattle, but now i’m totally mind-mapping plans for kent amc.

          2. admin July 19, 2008 at 3:24 am

            Carpinito Brothers has a cornfield near my place (they make a corn maze every year) but unfortunately it’s not yet grown. 🙁

            What are you supposed to shout at the end of the movie?

            Let’s make this happen–I can come north, too!

          3. admin July 19, 2008 at 7:01 am

            Nailed it!

            The more the merrier, I say. Shall we aim for Friday night?

          4. agentdanak July 19, 2008 at 7:21 am

            Re: Nailed it!

            i’ll put up a post in the morning, and see what happens. if we do it friday, it’ll have to be after 7ish, but i can handle that.

          5. admin July 19, 2008 at 7:31 am

            Re: Nailed it!

            7ish is the earliest I can get up into Seattle, anyway. My roommate would like to go see Dark Knight in IMAX with me and pretty much the only day we can work it is on Saturday as she works swing shift, so that’s my particular reason for hoping we’ll do X-Files on Friday. 🙂

  2. poetrix618 July 18, 2008 at 7:01 pm

    Uh…imagine the gas mileage.

    1. admin July 18, 2008 at 7:04 pm

      IT RUNS ON THE BLOOD OF VILLAINS.

      1. variax July 18, 2008 at 11:22 pm

        I need a car that runs on sarcasm and bitterness.

        1. admin July 18, 2008 at 11:29 pm

          What bits and bobs are you planning on chopping off of your body to fuel it? I mean, gas is expensive, no doubt, but it still doesn’t cost and arm and a leg.

          rimshot

          1. variax July 18, 2008 at 11:43 pm

            I will run a hose directly from my brain to the gas tank and it will run forever. Perpetual motion will be a reality! Suck it, Einstein!

          2. admin July 18, 2008 at 11:52 pm

            Einstein wins this round, I’m afraid, as there are mechanical parts in a vehicle that break down over time, preventing true perpetual motion. Does that mean….you suck it? Can I watch?

          3. variax July 19, 2008 at 3:29 am

            If I end up sucking it, I don’t actually think that represents a win for Einstein.

          4. admin July 19, 2008 at 7:01 am

            …but if Einstein ended up sucking it…that would be a win for you?

      2. poetrix618 July 18, 2008 at 7:09 pm

        Oh…well, then the US is going to war for THAT too.

        1. admin July 18, 2008 at 7:12 pm

          Not really. I call hobos ‘villains’.

          1. poetrix618 July 18, 2008 at 7:28 pm

            …and add slow-ass drivers who say crap like “you must be in a hurry to get somewhere” after I’m finally able to get around them at a stop light. Yeah, genius, thanks for the news flash!

            By my tally, Seattle alone beats the energy crisis.

          2. admin July 18, 2008 at 7:30 pm

            I can’t WAIT until I can mod it to run on hippies, which I’ll also call ‘villains’. This area is an endless source of fuel!

          3. darth_nater July 18, 2008 at 9:48 pm

            Can we clone Mayor Nickels and then use the clones as fuel? I hear compressed air cars are available now and I figured since he’s full of hot air, that idea would work out nicely.

          4. admin July 18, 2008 at 9:56 pm

            My only concern is: what happens if the clones break free? It’d be like Jurassic Park or Alien Resurrection only SCARIER.

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