When I mocked press-on eyeshadow three years ago, I had no idea that it would stick around and that other companies would follow suit. I mean, really. Press-on zebra stripes? How many occasions does one have to wear such a thing? “Let’s see, today I have to go to the gym, the grocery store to pick up some asparagus, deposit this check at the bank…I’m thinking camouflage eyeshadow. Yeah, it’s definitely a camo kind of day. Let’s reserve leopard print for the office.”
But follow suit they have, as now with a little extra money and no sense whatsoever, you can purchase temporary lip tattoos.
Yes, you too can now let total strangers know that you shouldn’t be allowed to handle money, and from a distance, perhaps even project the appearance of late-stage oral disease. Or maybe even up close, as we all know how temporary tattoos flake and peel, and who DOESN’T want a potential lover to think of leprosy when looking at their lips? Oh, BABY.
But then again, since I have a history of being wrong about these sort of things, I’d like to present you with my brand new line of cheek tattoos, Cheeky Monkey:
Love that Lurch!
Chillin With My Tribe
Dolla Dolla Bill, Y’all
The Beast Within
I’m Dating a Sparkly Vampire
Only fifteen bucks for a three-pack, and I’ll throw in a photo of a kitten wearing a hat for free. Place your orders now!