Crazy House Not On The Rock

Once upon a time, I used to have an off-white couch. Buying a couch in this color was a mistake, but I had a limited budget and was in a hurry to purchase since I’d just discovered that my couch was the jizz couch. It’s not that I didn’t LIKE off-white, but I have a dog who drags dirt around with him like Pigpen. His deal with the devil is that he stays white so long as he tracks dirt onto everything else. So he would drag his spitty toys up on to the couch, neurotically lick spots of the couch until they were soaking wet, and these wet spots would attract dirt. The couch turned from off-white to the color Gross, and though Ikea sells slipcovers, I was never fond of the way they looked. I also found underwear that was not mine jammed into the cushions once (and don’t feel like digging up the entry), so not only was it no longer aesthetically white, its spirit was also tarnished.

This weekend, I found a large quantity of monster fur I’d purchased for some reason, long forgotten, and as I pondered on it, my gaze fell on said slipcovered couch.

YES.

The monster fur on its own was not nearly enough to reupholster the entire couch, so I walked to Jo-Ann fabrics to pick up some more.

…Unfortunately, this is an item they only carry ‘sometimes’ and now is not one of those times. However, they DID have black vinyl with silver glitter AND it was on sale for the first time in about a year–I’d been keeping tabs because I’d originally wanted to reupholster the whole couch in glitter vinyl.

The fates came together, fabric and a staple gun came together, my thumbnail and a hammer came together, and this is the result:

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I love it. It’s like I skinned a goth muppet and made furniture out of it. It’s just tacky enough for someone like me to love. There’s one more step I want to take, and that’s to cover the nail backs with rhinestones for even MORE fabtacular bling. It’s not a forever couch, considering it’s from Ikea, I figure I’ll be lucky to get a couple more years out of it. But DURING those two years, I will love it to death. And then maybe I’ll have won the lottery and can afford THIS couch.

Also, I finally hung the jackalope amazoni got me for my birthday.

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50 Comments Crazy House Not On The Rock

  1. rimrunner May 18, 2010 at 5:24 am

    That is a wickedly stylin’ couch.

    1. admin May 18, 2010 at 5:38 am

      Thank you! πŸ™‚

  2. nicolemarieh May 18, 2010 at 5:28 am

    holy crap.

    you did an AMAZING job.

    can i come over please ?!! πŸ˜€

    1. admin May 18, 2010 at 5:38 am

      Thank you! πŸ™‚

      You are welcome here anytime, you know that!

  3. weaselmom May 18, 2010 at 5:43 am

    That, in the thousand decor blogs I frequent, is what would be termed a “statement piece.” I’m proud as hell of you.

    I love the pearls on the jackalope. So fresh and light for spring and so easy to change out during other seasons like people do with throw pillows. Speaking of which, I think the sky’s the limit here.

    1. admin May 18, 2010 at 3:04 pm

      Thank you! πŸ™‚

      Tonya also gave the jackalope pearl earrings.

  4. madamecacoon May 18, 2010 at 5:52 am

    I love you. Will you marry me?

    1. admin May 18, 2010 at 3:05 pm

      Aww, shucks.

      Yes. It will be a fantastic affair full of power rangers, elvis, and cheese waiters!

      1. madamecacoon May 18, 2010 at 10:07 pm

        My cats can be the flower girl and the ring bearer!

    2. beachin May 18, 2010 at 8:04 pm

      No! She’s MINE!

      1. admin May 18, 2010 at 8:05 pm

        We can do it in Utah with all of us and still have a fantastic affair full of power rangers, elvis, and cheese waiters!

        1. beachin May 18, 2010 at 8:38 pm

          Are those waiters made out of real cheese?

          1. admin May 18, 2010 at 8:50 pm

            No, no, no, I mean tuxedoed waiters who carry around silver platters of various cheeses for guests to gorge themselves upon.

          2. mschilepepper May 18, 2010 at 11:32 pm

            You’re gonna have to dredge those cheese cubes in Metamucil, or everyone’s gonna be stopped up like whoa. Hm, maybe you could just do hand-decorated toilet plungers as wedding favors.

          3. admin May 19, 2010 at 4:16 am

            Hey, how people feel AFTER the wedding is none o’ my business.

  5. jessidear84 May 18, 2010 at 6:52 am

    Damnit, you beat me to it.

    She pretty much had me at “skinned a goth muppet “

    Shiny, capn. Just Shiny.

    1. admin May 18, 2010 at 3:06 pm

      “Dad, what’s a muppet?”
      “Weelll, let me tell you, it’s not quite a mop, it’s not quite a puppet…so to answer your question, I don’t know.”

      Thank you! πŸ™‚

  6. winik May 18, 2010 at 9:57 am

    Hee! That’s all just awesome! Love the couch and everything else πŸ™‚

    1. admin May 18, 2010 at 3:09 pm

      Thank you! πŸ™‚

  7. helloautumn May 18, 2010 at 12:54 pm

    that couch is so amazing. i wish i could do something similar to our couch (which was bought on the cheap and we have plaid sheets covering it up. i’d do anything to get a decent slip cover at target OR at least find better sheets to make the couch look presentable.q

    1. admin May 18, 2010 at 3:11 pm

      Thank you! πŸ™‚ They have solid color sheets for sale at ikea for pretty cheap if you’re just looking for something, anything other than plaid.

      1. helloautumn May 18, 2010 at 3:16 pm

        ikea hates lansing. (for some asinine reason, the way ikea positions their stores are awkward because the closest ikea store for me is about two hours away. and then the closest one after that is in ohio. no thanks.) so i have to think of places i can easily get to by bus or within town that i would be able to cover my couch. but it’s okay. (living with a boy who is no-frills when it comes to decoration doesn’t help either. but it’s okay. same with the kitties. gotta get something that doesn’t show the cat hair.)

        1. cordelia_rose May 18, 2010 at 3:44 pm

          oh yeah? Well the ikea store closest to me is in 9 hours away.
          Fuckin midwest.

          1. helloautumn May 18, 2010 at 3:55 pm

            that sucks. i heard they place their stores in some weird circumference where each store has to be 100 miles away from each other. it’s ridiculous.

            (i live in the midwest too.)

  8. entropic_system May 18, 2010 at 1:09 pm

    That is pretty awesome. You should give it claws or something for those arms.

    1. admin May 18, 2010 at 3:09 pm

      Oh man, claw feet would be awesome.

  9. dslartoo May 18, 2010 at 1:11 pm

    Okay, stuff like this is just one of the many Reasons Mellzah is Awesome(sauce). Looks freakin’ fantastic. πŸ™‚

    cheers,
    Phil

    1. admin May 18, 2010 at 3:12 pm

      Thank you! πŸ™‚

  10. cordelia_rose May 18, 2010 at 3:44 pm

    That might be the most magnificently horrible thing I have ever seen. WIN

    1. admin May 18, 2010 at 4:35 pm

      I have to resist the urge to put some big foam teeth poking out of the fur and some beetlejuice-esque tongue to make it a monster couch.

  11. apestyle May 18, 2010 at 3:47 pm

    I…I am impressed.

    1. admin May 18, 2010 at 4:37 pm

      πŸ˜€

  12. cheeserock May 18, 2010 at 9:14 am

    that looks comfy to sleep on! nice dream couch at link. since all of my furniture comes from the trash or as hand-me-downs [5 times removed], i am pretty sure if i ever own a couch i pay money for, i’ll never be able to have nicer new one than IKEA or more glamourous than flea market vintage.

    1. admin May 18, 2010 at 3:08 pm

      Flea market vintage can be pretty damned glamorous. πŸ™‚

      My only concern is that the fur will make it extra hot to sit on during the summer months, but other than that, it’s pretty cozy!

  13. gldngrrl May 18, 2010 at 5:27 pm

    FUCKING RAD!

    1. admin May 18, 2010 at 5:43 pm

      Thank you! πŸ™‚

  14. beachin May 18, 2010 at 8:01 pm

    Loooooove it!

    1. admin May 18, 2010 at 8:05 pm

      Thank you! πŸ™‚

  15. assassinpandora May 18, 2010 at 8:44 pm

    Let’s do a photoshoot when you finish the couch. Surely you own something that goes.

    1. admin May 18, 2010 at 8:50 pm

      That would be fun! πŸ™‚

    1. admin May 18, 2010 at 10:31 pm

      That marshall amp hack is really, really cool!

  16. amazoni May 18, 2010 at 10:43 pm

    I love it! It is beyond glorious! I second the advice to post on IKEAhacker.

    The Jackalope looks cool all hung up, too. πŸ™‚

    1. admin May 18, 2010 at 11:29 pm

      Thank you! πŸ™‚

  17. mschilepepper May 18, 2010 at 11:40 pm

    That is super-frickin’ DOPE! Did you also cover the back of the couch?

    I concur that clawed feet would put it over the top. Hmm, wonder where you could get some for-reals animal claws, or even some plastic ones? I’d try eBay maybe, or phone up a taxidermist, see what they say. There’s a joint in SEA called Klineburger; they’re world-famous for taxidermy.

    1. admin May 19, 2010 at 4:17 am

      Yup, the back is all glitter vinyl. πŸ™‚

  18. redrumpirate May 22, 2010 at 4:04 am

    Both of those things….made me smile so huge. Thanks πŸ˜€

  19. VilentViolet September 18, 2013 at 1:59 am

    Hey, I had this page bookmarked because I loved the idea so much, but now the bottom two pictures have broken image links! Bummer. (And yes, I’m aware of how old this post is.) Is there any way to fix this? Please, pretty please?

    1. Mellzah November 17, 2013 at 5:03 pm

      I’m so sorry, I haven’t been getting comment notifications! It’s my fault there are so many broken images, I should have hosted them all from day one instead of hotlinking from facebook. I’m working on fixing everything, please have patience with me!

Comments are closed.