Children in the office shouldn’t be seen OR heard.

It’s ‘bring your obnoxious brat to work’ day. If I wanted to work in an environment with screaming children, I’d still be at Legoland, thanks. Or I’d apply at Chuck E Cheese to experience the more vibrant, resonating, ear-piercing indoor scream.

I sort of wish I could get them to chase a ball out into the street.

What’s the point of today, anyway? What with all of the running down the halls, destroying my work on the whiteboards, and shitting on the floor, all it does is turn the office into a goddamned daycare and they view work as a big playday. If you’re going to bring them here, at the very least, you can start the process of crushing their spirits for the eventual soul-sapping office-job drudgery they’re destined for.

When I’m dictator, I’m going to be an advocate of child labor–why shouldn’t they sew and make handicrafts? Their eye-hand coordination will never be better, and their fingers will never be more nimble!

24 Comments Children in the office shouldn’t be seen OR heard.

  1. scearley April 24, 2008 at 6:38 pm

    It started as “Take your daughter to work day” which only told me that once more, society sees being a stay at home parent as not work and the kind of thing you should not do, you lazy cunt, so make sure your daughter is not a lazy cunt like your mother was for staying home and taking care of things.

    Then someone saw the inherent sexism and said boys should be included too, because, you know, they’re going to end up being gas station attendants otherwise.

    And these days companies have special days set up for the kids, like at the ex’s place of employment, which is NOTHING like a workday. Ice cream socials, video gaming, etc. How is this showing them what work is like????

    said that the baby boomers are behind all of this to make sure more and more people work and pay into social security to make sure it’s still around for at least another ten years before collapsing.

    If they changed today to “Don’t get shit done day” then I’d be all over the things going on.

    Every time something like this goes on I really feel the need to push myself into getting the Platonic state system installed.

    1. admin April 24, 2008 at 6:50 pm

      :scoff scoff: Because if they didn’t show children that they CAN eventually work, they’d never enter the workforce because rent and houses and food and fuel are so cheap as to be practically free.

      1. scearley April 24, 2008 at 6:54 pm

        That’s right! I mean, the parents were smart enough to get a job, but you have to make sure the kids realize this because obviously, they’re too stupid to make the same connection. I mean, what happens if they *gasp* BECOME ARTISTS??????

        1. admin April 24, 2008 at 6:56 pm

          A whole generation of goddamned hippies.

          As long as they don’t become ‘aRtists’, I’m ok with that.

          1. scearley April 24, 2008 at 6:58 pm

            Re: A whole generation of goddamned hippies.

            That sounds like a more effective plan. “Take your kids to Shannon Kringen day” – nothing would drive people to the cubicle life faster.

          2. admin April 24, 2008 at 7:04 pm

            Re: A whole generation of goddamned hippies.

            Or into systemic shock.

  2. g33kgrrl April 24, 2008 at 7:14 pm

    It sounds more like the problem is the fact that your co-workers are crappy parents, than with the idea of kids coming to work at all. I went to my mom’s work with her on these days when I was a kid, and I remember being shown around to different parts of her office where people showed me various parts of their job. It was really neat and interesting.

    Admittedly, my mom’s an archivist and so there were lots more neat things to be shown that would keep a kid’s attention than, say, in my current office. Although we could show them the Degausser we got in yesterday? That’s pretty cool. I don’t think I’d let even the most well-behaved kids into the server room, though.

    Also, re: above – there’s a difference between not valuing housework done by stay-at-home-parents and wanting to show daughters that there are other options for them as well.

    1. scearley April 24, 2008 at 7:22 pm

      I’m going easy on you because you have Dennett listed.

      The original purpose of “Take your daughter to work day” (started in 1992) was to get mothers to take their daughters to show them what a working day-in-the-life is.

      That is, showing daughters that since their mother isn’t a stay-home mom, they shouldn’t be either.

      1. g33kgrrl April 24, 2008 at 8:00 pm

        *shrug*

        The Take Our Daughters To Work program was launched by the Ms. Foundation for Women in 1993. The program encouraged employees in the United States to invite a prepubescent-aged girl to spend the day with the employee at his or her workplace, with the aim of exposing girls to various career opportunities.

        and

        The program was expanded to include boys as well in 2003. The program’s official website states that the program was changed in order to provide both boys and girls with opportunities to explore careers at an age when they are more flexible in terms of gender roles. The Ms. Foundation also states that men who have hosted children have benefited from being seen as parental figures in addition to their roles as professionals, which can contribute to combatting gender stereotypes as well.

        Prior to the inclusion of boys, the Ms. Foundation contended that the program was designed to specifically address self-esteem issues unique to girls and initially resisted pressure to include boys.

        Emphasis mine. Given that I wasn’t there when the program was created and am not privy to the thoughts of those who did create it, that’s the information I’m going on. I don’t interpret “explore” and “various” and “career opportunities” as exclusive. It’s also not something in which I’m terribly invested, so I’m perfectly ok with agreeing to disagree on that.

        I saw Dennett & Richard Dawkins speak the same week at the University of Chicago. The Dennett talk was well-attended, but the Dawkins talk was 100% packed; people were literally listening at the windows. This led to me texting my best friend with the difference, and he texted back what is still my favorite text that I’ve ever received: “That’s sad. Nothing should draw better than a linguist”.
        So true.

    2. admin April 24, 2008 at 7:35 pm

      Oh, undoubtedly they’re crappy parents. It’s all the coworkers I dislike bringing their spawn in, and their kids are miniature versions of their jackhole parents.

      My dad never brought me to work. Then again, I doubt I would’ve been much interested, either; he was an accountant at JI Case.

      1. g33kgrrl April 24, 2008 at 8:01 pm

        It’s all the coworkers I dislike bringing their spawn in

        Ahh, of course. Like Idiocracy but in the small?

        Hmm… yeah, I don’t see much in accountancy that would dazzle a small child. One time at my mom’s work I got to see how they made archival boxes, and I got to keep a small one as a souvenir. That was the best part, for sure. Folding cardboard was awesome.

        1. admin April 24, 2008 at 10:00 pm

          I expect them to start running down the halls shrieking “IT HAS WHAT PLANTS CRAVE” any time now.

  3. shadowstitch April 24, 2008 at 7:23 pm

    Their eye-hand coordination will never be better, and their fingers will never be more nimble!

    And their supple young flesh will never be tastier if they happen to accidentally fall into the meat grindery….

    1. admin April 24, 2008 at 7:33 pm

      It has to be an accident though–fear makes them taste game-y.

  4. gray_jedi April 25, 2008 at 1:56 am

    I lucked out at this job and the last one. At Ye Olde Bullseye, no kids were going to be allowed where I worked (stockroom), so that was cool. And at my current job, very few people have school-age kids, and the few that do have spouses with much more interesting jobs. 🙂

    And to add to an earlier comment, I bet Take Your Dog To Work Day would be a hit!

    1. admin April 25, 2008 at 4:00 pm

      A dog office party I could get behind!

  5. transgress April 24, 2008 at 9:49 pm

    Indeed, and is one of the reasons I opted to not go to the office today ;]

    When I’m dictator,

    Awesome, I thought I was the only person who started sentences like that. Although I typically talk about invading Canada, changing the flow of oceans or building nuclear bunkers in Antarctica.

    I’m totally onboard with child labor though.

    1. admin April 24, 2008 at 9:59 pm

      If I had known what day today was before I came in today, I wouldn’t have been here, either. Last year I brought my dog in protest, and he was actually LESS disruptive.

      This dictator thing, we could work on it together, you and I!

      Although eventually there will only be one…;)

      1. transgress April 24, 2008 at 10:07 pm

        Indeed ;]

        Although eventually there will only be one…;)

        Yes, it will be sad to see you go 😀

        1. admin April 24, 2008 at 10:43 pm

          I’m almost certain I’ll mourn you at your funeral*.

          *by which ‘funeral’ stands for ‘body being dumped into a lake at 3am’.

          😉

          1. transgress April 25, 2008 at 4:27 am

            Yes, it will be sad to see you go 😀

            haha! i take it all back! it wont be sad at all, your tears are all the joy ill ever need!

          2. admin April 25, 2008 at 3:58 pm

            I’m pretty sure that we need to do this ‘thunderdome’ style now.

          3. transgress April 25, 2008 at 4:00 pm

            TWO ROBOTS ENTER ONE ROBOT LEAVES!

          4. admin April 25, 2008 at 5:56 pm

            FYI, I’ve got laser eyes and chainsaw arms. You’re going DOWN.

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