An Open…Apology. This does not happen often.

“Dear Melissa,

Jurassic Fight Club: Season 1: Disc 1 was not available from your local shipping center. Fortunately, it was available from a shipping center in another part of the country. It’s on its way and should arrive within 3 to 5 days.

You’ll notice we also recently sent the next available DVD from your Queue to enjoy while Jurassic Fight Club: Season 1: Disc 1 makes its way to you.

Your Queue now shows this extra DVD rental. Enjoy.”

Oh, Netflix. All the nasty things I said about you yesterday behind your back because I wasn’t receiving my DVD about dinosaurs fighting and was instead receiving a mopey drama that I wasn’t in the mood for…forgotten. I’m sorry, baby. Let’s never fight again. Unless it’s with dinosaurs.

23 Comments An Open…Apology. This does not happen often.

  1. pretzelcoatl June 3, 2009 at 7:53 pm

    I love Netflix so much that I’m afraid they are really plotting to enslave me.

    1. admin June 3, 2009 at 7:55 pm

      If they send me free movies, I don’t even CARE. Enslave me with entertainment!

      1. pretzelcoatl June 3, 2009 at 7:56 pm

        Which reminds me: I need to send back Airplane! and The Fifth Element tomorrow so I can get movies on Saturday. Which ones which ones which ones… Hmmmm.

        1. admin June 3, 2009 at 11:45 pm

          Fact: I seem to be the only nerd on earth who LOATHES The Fifth Element.

          1. darth_nater June 4, 2009 at 3:26 am

            do you loathe bruce in all his sci-fi rough-n-tumble glory or just the crazy trance sdtrk? lol

          2. admin June 4, 2009 at 3:33 am

            I loathe Bruce in general.

          3. darwinpolice June 4, 2009 at 3:38 am

            Your whore mouth. SHUT IT.

          4. admin June 4, 2009 at 3:43 am

            I am going to cockpunch the shit out of you.

          5. darth_nater June 4, 2009 at 4:51 am

            I’d pay for that kind of treatment but i need to kindly ask you only wear stilettos when you do it.

          6. darwinpolice June 4, 2009 at 3:37 am

            You shut your whore mouth.

  2. scearley June 3, 2009 at 10:07 pm

    I wish I got this kind of service from netflix.

    It’s usually “Oh, we decided to give new releases to someone else. Meanwhile, it’ll take 4 months for you to get the movie. So instead of sending you what was next on your queue, we’ll just randomly select a movie to send you.”

    And let’s not even start about the discs I get from the post office a week late, stamped “Damaged at Post Office.” Yeah, I know what that means, you bastard postal carrier. STOP DIVERTING MY MOVIES. GET YOUR OWN DAMN SUBSCRIPTION.

    1. admin June 3, 2009 at 11:54 pm

      I generally don’t have new releases at the top of my list–by the time I want to see something, the disc isn’t in heavy demand anymore.

      If that happens often with your movies, you ought to file a complaint. I have my problems with my postal carrier (he doesn’t even TRY to deliver things like certified letters because it would take actual effort to go to the door, like I am supposed to anticipate receiving a certified letter and be waiting daily by the damn mailbox!) but if my mail turned up opened and late, I would be even angrier.

  3. shadowstitch June 3, 2009 at 10:55 pm

    As long as the “next available DVD from your queue” wasn’t “Jurassic Fight Club: Season 1: Disc 2”

    1. admin June 3, 2009 at 11:55 pm

      Nah, if I’ve never seen a show before, I don’t put all the discs up top in a row just in case I hate it. Then I’ll only have wasted one disc trying it instead of several.

  4. hotshotrobot June 3, 2009 at 11:10 pm

    Netflix seriously has the best customer service i have ever experienced.

    1. admin June 3, 2009 at 11:49 pm

      I’ve been iffy with them–there are times when I’ve been certain my service was getting throttled, there have been times when I’ve received a disc that was snapped in half, and I marked it damaged and sent it back, only to receieve the EXACT SAME DISC in the mail three days later, and when my outgoing mail was stolen, it counted as a black mark on my record even though I had a police report. But I’ve never actually had them be proactive like this before, and while that extra disc costs them next to nothing to send, it really makes me appreciative as a customer.

  5. darwinpolice June 3, 2009 at 11:54 pm

    Best hundred bucks I’ve ever spent.

    1. admin June 4, 2009 at 12:01 am

      I’m definitely considering picking up one of those babies. I’m sure when I do, it will only be a few short weeks before my ass permanently fuses to the couch.

    2. darth_nater June 4, 2009 at 3:32 am

      i heard somewhere an xbox 360 can be configured to stream netflix too…

      1. darwinpolice June 4, 2009 at 3:39 am

        Yeah, if you have an Xbox Live account, you can set it up for Netflix streaming. I don’t have an Xbox, though, so I can’t comment on how well it works.

  6. travelbothroads June 4, 2009 at 9:16 pm

    That sounds like the bets show… EVER. You must tell me how it is.

    1. admin June 9, 2009 at 4:44 pm

      I wanted to like it but ultimately went ‘meh’. The problem is, it doesn’t know whether it wants to be science or entertainment and thus fails at both. They claim to be unearthing a ‘jurassic crime scene’ and solving the case using science, but then they make up a lot of ‘facts’ that the fossil evidence doesn’t support for the sake of entertainment. Then, during the actual dinosaur fight sequences, they cut away to dudes I couldn’t give a squat about giving repetitive commentary–during football games, do they cut in the middle of a play to a shot of John Madden talking about the play? NO. NO THEY DO NOT. He may talk during the play, but we’re still watching the actual play and not some schmo talking about it. They even directly contradict themselves! In one sequence, a dinosaur baby is killed, and the mother, who is ‘incapable of mourning’, devours the baby. In the next, a dinosaur baby is killed, and the mother rips apart the attacker out of a sense of vengeance over the baby. Which is it, dudes? You can’t have it both ways!

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