Date Archives March 2012

Nom or Vom: “These boys get that syrup in ’em, they get all antsy in their pantsy.”

Not content with their previous savory syrup achievements, Torani has whipped their chemists into submission and concocted Chicken & Waffles in chuggable syrup form. To be perfectly honest, I don’t really have a lot of room to comment on this new flavor, as I have never before tasted chicken and waffles at the same time, though I am a fan of both separately. However, while I’m fairly sure that chicken and waffles is a delicious real food blend, I don’t know if I can get behind it in syrup form. Maybe I’m just too old, but I’m not ready for liquid meat. Which bears the question: how would one even use Chicken & Waffles syrup? In a latte? On actual chicken and waffles? On waffles for which you have no chicken? Chug shots of it to prove one’s manhood? HOW? Tell me in the comments, please.

But first: vote!

Would you eat this?

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I’ve heard them all: “I like you as a friend,” “I think we should see other people,” “I no speak English,” “I’m married to the sea,” “I don’t want to kill you but I will,” “I’m not gay but I’ll learn”…

…but never “Mellzah, I love you more than anything, and you’d make me the happiest man in the world if you’d marry me. So why not slap on this ring and make it official?” Not until last night, anyway.

I have a feeling we’ll have to do a bunch of kitschy fake weddings so I can get all of the velvet Elvis out of my system before the real thing.

Yet another cop-out.

Things have been a little roller coaster-like around the Dildarian household lately: highs, lows, and very few creamy middles, and unless I’m bitching about something, creamy middles is where I do my best work. It’s hard for me to focus on writing when things are so up and down, but I do want to get back into the routine of regular posting, so consider this my public commitment to begin posting entries at least once a week. Maybe more! But at least once a week from here on out. Just what has been going on lately, you ask?

-Got a sweet intern gig at The Broke-Ass Bride -My aunt died unexpectedly -Won a contest and will be illustrated in an upcoming board game -My grandpa had surgery to remove an aneurysm near his heart, needed a second surgery a couple of days later, and in the aftermath, struggles with his memory, so much so that grandma can’t leave him alone in the house. This may be permanent, or it could improve over the next few weeks as the anesthetic clears from his body. -I did makeup and SFX for the first season of Glitch -Napoleon’s paw started bleeding the other night, he had a mass between his toes which turned out to be a mast tumor. His options seem to be: amputation, radiation, or let it ride. All of these options suck.

And that’s just a taste. But one post a week? I can do that.

With that, have an Alien explaining to Dad why he got suspended from school.

Twofer Tuesday Nom or Vom

The people have spoken: chocolate and cheese together have an irresistible power. At least when it’s white cheddar and dark chocolate. Along comes this abomination:



Let’s say it together: Peanut Butter Cheese Fudge. “You got your chocolate in my peanut butter!” “You got your peanut butter in my cheese!” Velveeta cheese, to be exact. Known for its meltability, Velveeta is the hillbilly of cheeses. It’s the cheese that you hope shows up on the cracker tray at the wedding of someone you don’t particularly like. It’s also rumored to be clear before the factory adds that nuclear orange color and seals it into shelf-stable bricks. MMMMMMMM. Now, thanks to the power of Paula Deen, it comes swirled together with Jif, because that’s what choosy mothers choose when they don’t like their kids very much and want to murder them with peanut butter cheese fudge. Also, there’s no chocolate in this fudge whatsoever. NONE. Granted, the definition of fudge does not include “chocolate”, but when I hear “fudge”, I think “chocolate”. I don’t think “sugar, butter, and milk heated to the soft-ball stage and then beaten so that it acquires a smooth, creamy consistency”. So when I gagged at the name Peanut Butter Cheese Fudge, know that I was also including chocolate in the mental mix.

You, however, may judge it on its merits.

Would you eat peanut butter cheese fudge?

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And since there are days when one poll isn’t enough, here’s another food item for you to contemplate: “Tacos” flavored ramen.



It appears to be some sort of new haute Mexican-Asian fusion cuisine, with its noodles and tomato and lettuce and corn and some form of meat. For those of you unfamiliar with cup noodles, these are sold on a shelf just down from Velveeta, and you add hot water and let everything rehydrate. Mmmm, shelf stable little clumps of dehydrated meatballs. Tacos and ramen: two great tastes that taste great together? YOU DECIDE.

Would you eat "Tacos" flavored ramen?

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